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Old 10-26-2017, 06:09 AM   #1
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I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was six years old. I didn't have too many problems in school and had minimal accommodation. Then I got into the working world. At my first job I didn't tell people I had AS because I made the wrong assumption that people were more tolerant. My former employer was told by a famy member I had it and at first I though she was fine with it as she listed positives. Big mistake, she bullied me and never went out of the way to make me feel stupid. I don't think it was because she knew but that does not excuse her behavior in my book. She even asked if I had a learning disability and snapped at me for being too sensitive when I cried as she chewed me out in front of others. I hate screwing up as it is and she even demanded I look her in the eye when I had a meltdown in her office. She sacked me for screwing up and I disclosed at my next job. I don't think they quite get it either. Stuff gets changed often without prior notice (I know this happens but it's constant), people try to be social and then I get admonished for being "antisocial" when I'm not very comfortable around very friendly people to begin with. I didn't say anything bad but they said I was "difficult to talk to". I just like keeping quiet. So long story short, I've applied for a new job and I haven't told the supervisor about it yet. Because of the disaster of my first job I have to and I don't know if I feel like it's a good time to let the new person know or not
I had two interviews and we don't know if I got it or not. I'm just afraid they will think I'm stupid or think I'm making it up. I'm just not sure what ir how to tell if I get this job because I can get by without accommodation and usually it doesn't cause problems unless I'm having a bad day. Any advice would be great
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Old 10-27-2017, 02:32 PM   #2
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This is an extremely hard question to answer, because a proportion of the population, as you already know, has a bias surrounding what they perceive as "mental illness." There's a difference between an illness and a disorder. But they don't know that. So, many people will treat you differently if they perceive you as different. This is what racism is about to a certain degree.

Autistic people are far from stupid, their brains just see the world in a much different way than others. They can be very literal and unable to change, which causes them to come into conflict with "normal" people. And I'm guessing, at least half the time, when an autistic person experiences a "melt down," it arises because of the ignorance of the other party. This is because many people don't actually know how to live amongst others from a place of respect and tolerance. If respect and tolerance was common, we wouldn't have so many wars, crimes and violence. This world is very intolerant, which makes it all the more difficult for someone who is autistic. I'm not autistic and I find myself staying home much more now, because I'm tired of getting honked at for going ONLY ten km an hour over the speed limit.

And I'm also tired of narrowly averting a car accident, due to someone driving 40 km over the speed limit.

But, back to you. Do you know if there are any associations in your area that help people like yourself find jobs? There are some employers who will hire people through such associations, knowing the person is autistic and also knowing how to work with people who are autistic. I don't want to give you false hope, because such an organisation might not exist near you. Or perhaps you could try to get a job at such an organisation.

My son got a job where his autistic tendencies worked in his favour. He's a stock manager, so he has to keep track of things. It's all about bar codes, stock numbers, quantities. And he is a master at this job, where others struggle with the job, so he's actually highly valued and with that comes respect.

Last edited by clairerobin; 10-27-2017 at 02:49 PM..
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Old 10-29-2017, 07:11 PM   #3
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I don't think there is an association near me. I looked on Indeed and read employee reviews. I'm just not sure how the new potential employer is going to take it.
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Old 10-29-2017, 08:31 PM   #4
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Oh my goodness, your first boss sounds like a demon. I have aspergers too and was an apprentice for catering lunches at a private school. Boss was appalling. Very similar to the one you talk about so I know what it's like. Thank goodness your boss is in the past and not the present.

I'm not sure about where you live but here we have a system in place for adults on the spectrum which specialises in finding autistic/aspergers friendly employers. This basically means that whatever job the system finds for you, your employer SHOULD be understanding of the fact you are on the spectrum and wont be anything like the boss you had in the past. When I was at school, I overheard an autistic student expressing your exact concern to a teacher during break time and he was reassured that he doesn't necessarily have to bring it up unless the employer directly asks him if he's autistic during the interview. Because he was wondering if he should put it on his resume, you see. Maybe see if there's a similar system where you are??
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Old 10-30-2017, 10:33 PM   #5
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Thanks guys....demon would be appropriate! Anyhow I haven't heard back. There is an Easter seals place in Kansas City I'll look into. It's close to where I'm trying to get employment (I live an hour away from Kansas City). Thanks again!
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Old 11-09-2017, 11:01 PM   #6
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Just giving an update...I received an email from the job I interviewed for and was told to call back. So this might happen. If it does do I just tell the supervisor in private along with HR? I really don't need accommodation but I don't want to have them think I'm making it up or using it as an excuse (I was told by mom and dad it is an explanation, not an excuse). I figured when I do disclose I might say "Oh, I have Aspergers Syndrome. It doesn't affect my job, I will have my good days and bad days but don't be surprised if I seem a bit off or may be slow to warm up. It is just a difference but I just want to make sure you are aware of it." I'll keep you posted.
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Old 11-10-2017, 02:54 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foo Fighter View Post
Just giving an update...I received an email from the job I interviewed for and was told to call back. So this might happen. If it does do I just tell the supervisor in private along with HR? I really don't need accommodation but I don't want to have them think I'm making it up or using it as an excuse (I was told by mom and dad it is an explanation, not an excuse). I figured when I do disclose I might say "Oh, I have Aspergers Syndrome. It doesn't affect my job, I will have my good days and bad days but don't be surprised if I seem a bit off or may be slow to warm up. It is just a difference but I just want to make sure you are aware of it." I'll keep you posted.
This is a really great way of looking at it, Foo Fighter! A very healthy thought process you have there. Keep hold of it and never let go. I'm so pleased to hear things are going well. Your parents are also right, it is an explanation and not an excuse. I hope you get the job!
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Old 11-12-2017, 02:48 PM   #8
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Don't be so sure you don't need an accommodation. I started a new job several months ago and didn't disclose; but I'd been accustomed to working from home and did NOT deal well with the open office plan. At all. As in, I was taking "sick days" (and pretty much exhausted my PTO) so I could work from home. Fortunately, my company is very spectrum-friendly (which I didn't know at the time), so they came up with the idea to put me in a private-ish office. (Strict no work from home policy). The time to disclose would be when you get an offer, not during the interview process, but asking for accommodations up front would be the way to go in my experience (maybe you exhibit differently, but work environment is key)
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Old 11-14-2017, 11:32 PM   #9
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I got the job and if all goes well I start next month.
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Old 01-06-2018, 08:56 PM   #10
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I did disclose,but I did three weeks,in because he asked if there was anything he needed to know during my eval (having ****ed up the prior day I thought I was getting fired and just had a horrid anxiety episode. He said I wasn't in any trouble ) He had me write it down and I havent heard anything except for a thanks for sharing that information. Should I just leave it alone? I really don't want him to get the wrong idea because it's just different wiring....other than that he said I was doing great!
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