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Old 02-19-2019, 04:21 AM #1
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Default Always wondered if I am autistic

Hello, all. I just needed to let this off my chest because this problem has been clawing at me for far too long and I need to just talk it out.

To be frank, for years I've always been speculating if I am autistic, and watching home videos of myself added to this suspicion (I can explain further in future posts if anyone is curious, and I'll try my best to talk about them). Factors such as my depression, social anxiety, my inability to understand how to socialize adequately like others, and failing to maintain decent relations with friends & family have jeopardized the way I live my life. Going to my therapists for general anxiety fixes aren't working, so I guess bringing this up could give potential answers. One of them actually assumed if I was ever diagnosed with autism because I mentioned I experience spontaneous bursts of crying/anger and even hurting myself in these fits (ex. hitting).

I honestly am not sure I am autistic 100%, to be fair, cause this is just a strong hunch. All I know about autism in my family is that my dad's sister's son is autistic on the low end. However, I don't truly know if it's because it's been genetically passed down my family tree or if it came from her husband. I researched passing down autism as best as I could, I could be missing info.

I just want answers, that's all.

Felt like sharing this, but last year, I searched up if autistic people could be self-aware, and I was surprised to find that generally those who are high-functioning are. That was the time when I finally understood that autism is not as simple as it's believed to be and that it's a spectrum. I felt like sharing this b/c it was interesting.
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Old 02-19-2019, 05:23 AM #2
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Default Re: Always wondered if I am autistic

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaroonAbalone View Post
To be frank, for years I've always been speculating if I am autistic, and watching home videos of myself added to this suspicion (I can explain further in future posts if anyone is curious, and I'll try my best to talk about them). Factors such as my depression, social anxiety, my inability to understand how to socialize adequately like others, and failing to maintain decent relations with friends & family have jeopardized the way I live my life. Going to my therapists for general anxiety fixes aren't working, so I guess bringing this up could give potential answers. One of them actually assumed if I was ever diagnosed with autism because I mentioned I experience spontaneous bursts of crying/anger and even hurting myself in these fits (ex. hitting).
What is your diagnosis? I know its tempting to have a gut feeling and then research it enough to feel that you have settled on something but its not always that cut and dry. Yes, some of what you mentioned sounds like autism but some of it sounds like the idea of what people think autism is. What I mean is the mainstream has an idea of what autism is and those ideas are shared widely and often cloud the pervasive symptoms of something. It reminds me of the general public's view of bipolar- that we are moody and shopping up a storm when we are manic and trying to kill ourselves when we are depressed. I am not saying you do not have self awareness to know what is going on with you but I encourage you to see a psychiatrist and see what is going on.
Quote:
I honestly am not sure I am autistic 100%, to be fair, cause this is just a strong hunch. All I know about autism in my family is that my dad's sister's son is autistic on the low end. However, I don't truly know if it's because it's been genetically passed down my family tree or if it came from her husband. I researched passing down autism as best as I could, I could be missing info.
I am not clear on the hereditary factors with autism, maybe someone else can share.

Quote:
I just want answers, that's all.

Felt like sharing this, but last year, I searched up if autistic people could be self-aware, and I was surprised to find that generally those who are high-functioning are. That was the time when I finally understood that autism is not as simple as it's believed to be and that it's a spectrum. I felt like sharing this b/c it was interesting.
Before they came up with autism spectrum disorder there used to be Asbergers. My sister was diagnosed with this when she was 3. She is 28 now and has always lived a relatively normal life with the exceptions of her boyfriends but I do not think its related to her diagnosis. One thing that helped her was therapy tailored to autism.
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Old 02-19-2019, 06:23 AM #3
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Default Re: Always wondered if I am autistic

I'm so sorry, MaroonAbalone The only way to know for sure whether you're on the spectrum is to go to a doctor and get a proper diagnosis. That way you'll know for sure. I'd suggest to talk to your doctor about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he/she will be able to help you. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. If your therapist suspects you may have autism as well, I'd say it's definitely worth looking into it. I hope you'll be able to get the answers you need. Autistm can be treated and dealt with. Many people who have been on the spectrum have lived a good life, after all. But you need to be aware of it first. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. I hope you'll feel better soon. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 02-19-2019, 08:32 PM #4
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Default Re: Always wondered if I am autistic

I was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome last month. However, I figured out that because I also have a daughter with autism, it was possible that genetics can play a factor in this as well.
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Old 03-12-2019, 10:43 AM #5
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Default Re: Always wondered if I am autistic

Autism has a strong genetic basis and several members of my family have it. Here is what Wikipedia says about autism and genetics. I cannot post a link but a quick Google search of "autism genetics" should bring up the result.

Also, it is a spectrum, and I believe from what you say that you would be diagnosed as being on it.

Do you have any key interested which you obsess over? This is what of the main ones they ask when diagnosing Asperger's, for example.

In the UK they refer to all forms of autism as ASD (autistic spectrum disorder) rather than classifying someone as having Asperger's.

There are benefits to being diagnosed. For example, I lost a job at work and they had not made reasonable adjustments for my disability, which they should have. This was before I was formally diagnosed and they requested my medical records etc to say that I didn't have it etc. Would have been a far easier process with a formal diagnosis.
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Old 03-16-2019, 07:39 PM #6
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Default Re: Always wondered if I am autistic

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaroonAbalone View Post
Factors such as my depression, social anxiety, my inability to understand how to socialize adequately like others, and failing to maintain decent relations with friends & family have jeopardized the way I live my life.
Same thing here... pretty much exactly. I started wondering this about myself recently after learning about autism, which is a "new" type of condition that didn't really figure into the mainstream in the past. I've also had other symptoms, like needing things to be exactly arranged and obsessing over minor imperfections in things I buy. Just curious if you also experienced other symptoms of this type. I had no idea all these things would add up to something like autism, if that's indeed it.
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Old 03-17-2019, 10:42 AM #7
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Default Re: Always wondered if I am autistic

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaroonAbalone View Post
Felt like sharing this, but last year, I searched up if autistic people could be self-aware, and I was surprised to find that generally those who are high-functioning are. That was the time when I finally understood that autism is not as simple as it's believed to be and that it's a spectrum. I felt like sharing this b/c it was interesting.
People think autistic people are not self aware?

I assume school doesn't even cover this.
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