Inflexibility of behavior/ Hard time dealing with change

ExplodingSun56 · 11-03-2018, 12:27 PM

As someone on the autism spectrum I have a really hard time with this. I want friends and family to understand that this is really hard for me. I want to tell people about it but I'm afraid of what they'll say to me. I'm afraid people would be really judgemental on this sorta thing. I want people to understand me and know me better. Some people don't know I have a really hard time with this and they can say some really mean things.

MickeyCheeky · 11-03-2018, 01:16 PM

Lots of people struggle with change. Nothing to be ashamed of. Do you think they'll judge you based on past experiences you've had with them?

ExplodingSun56 · 11-03-2018, 04:43 PM

Yeah pretty much

MickeyCheeky · 11-04-2018, 07:03 AM

((((ExplodingSun56)))) I'm so sorry.

Chyialee · 11-04-2018, 11:24 AM

I understand as well.

It took me ages, but finally I've come to NOT make any apologies for what I need or how I react: These are facts, after all, not just some notion I came up with one day to amuse myself (as if! ha). I view it in the same way as an allergy: I'm allergic to goldenrod, Ivory soap, coconut, latex, and rapid change. They all require a certain amount of time and counter-measures!

And it's a waaay bigger inconvenience for US, IMO, than for the befuddled souls around us, no? Gee too bad about them (sarcasm).

No doubt explains why I've only a few close friends -- which is beyond fine by me.

Yeah I'm not very nice about it when other ppl start in whining about what they want me to do/eat/be , when that upsets my system. It used to drive me totally bonkers, give huge anxiety, all the rest of it. I'm old now and it's just a fact of life: If I have a friend with a lactose & gluten allergy (and I do) why is my "allergy" less legitimate than hers?

Answer: It isn't. One thing that helped (altho at the time we were totally upset and panicked ) was, having 2 of 3 offspring be on the spectrum as well. It helped me understand how to cope, and how to deal with the results of NOT having plans in place for "allergy" fallout. Upsetting a routine had HUGE consequences that went on for days. It was a real "AHA!".

People need what they need to feel comfortable and secure and have a manageable life. The fact that your needs are different from someone else's? That needs to be accommmodated and adapted as you go along. It's normal.

Sorry so long!

Best,

Chyia, Aspie-Lite and not as scared of it as I once was

11-03-2018, 12:27 PM	#1
ExplodingSun56 Member ExplodingSun56 has no updates. Member Since: Mar 2017 Location: Washington Posts: 292 24 hugs given	Inflexibility of behavior/ Hard time dealing with change As someone on the autism spectrum I have a really hard time with this. I want friends and family to understand that this is really hard for me. I want to tell people about it but I'm afraid of what they'll say to me. I'm afraid people would be really judgemental on this sorta thing. I want people to understand me and know me better. Some people don't know I have a really hard time with this and they can say some really mean things.

11-03-2018, 01:16 PM	#2
MickeyCheeky Wise Elder MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back Member Since: Jun 2016 Location: Italy Posts: 8,725 (SuperPoster!) My Mood: 24.5k hugs given	Re: Inflexibility of behavior/ Hard time dealing with change Lots of people struggle with change. Nothing to be ashamed of. Do you think they'll judge you based on past experiences you've had with them?

11-03-2018, 04:43 PM	#3
ExplodingSun56 Member ExplodingSun56 has no updates. Member Since: Mar 2017 Location: Washington Posts: 292 24 hugs given	Re: Inflexibility of behavior/ Hard time dealing with change Yeah pretty much

11-04-2018, 07:03 AM	#4
MickeyCheeky Wise Elder MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back Member Since: Jun 2016 Location: Italy Posts: 8,725 (SuperPoster!) My Mood: 24.5k hugs given	Re: Inflexibility of behavior/ Hard time dealing with change ((((ExplodingSun56)))) I'm so sorry.

11-04-2018, 11:24 AM	#5
Chyialee Member Chyialee has no updates. Member Since: May 2015 Location: Arizona Posts: 316 My Mood: 596 hugs given	Re: Inflexibility of behavior/ Hard time dealing with change I understand as well. It took me ages, but finally I've come to NOT make any apologies for what I need or how I react: These are facts, after all, not just some notion I came up with one day to amuse myself (as if! ha). I view it in the same way as an allergy: I'm allergic to goldenrod, Ivory soap, coconut, latex, and rapid change. They all require a certain amount of time and counter-measures! And it's a waaay bigger inconvenience for US, IMO, than for the befuddled souls around us, no? Gee too bad about them (sarcasm). No doubt explains why I've only a few close friends -- which is beyond fine by me. Yeah I'm not very nice about it when other ppl start in whining about what they want me to do/eat/be , when that upsets my system. It used to drive me totally bonkers, give huge anxiety, all the rest of it. I'm old now and it's just a fact of life: If I have a friend with a lactose & gluten allergy (and I do) why is my "allergy" less legitimate than hers? Answer: It isn't. One thing that helped (altho at the time we were totally upset and panicked ) was, having 2 of 3 offspring be on the spectrum as well. It helped me understand how to cope, and how to deal with the results of NOT having plans in place for "allergy" fallout. Upsetting a routine had HUGE consequences that went on for days. It was a real "AHA!". People need what they need to feel comfortable and secure and have a manageable life. The fact that your needs are different from someone else's? That needs to be accommmodated and adapted as you go along. It's normal. Sorry so long! Best, Chyia, Aspie-Lite and not as scared of it as I once was

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode