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Old 10-22-2018, 02:41 PM   #1
Beanpole1975
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Post My son, 11

School is getting harder, alot more is expected of you and my son is having a hard time and I am having an even harder... School support is good, always has been. Was diagnosed at 5 and going to the same school. We are 7 to 8 weeks in to the new school year, teacher seems good, haven't had a 1 on 1 yet, but it's coming cause 1st reports are coming out soon.. not gonna be good.. I know it.
Forgetting to bring homework home, choosing not to bring home and or finish at school, he is struggling.. losing his work. I know these are traits of ADHD, alot more is expected of you. My son has an EAP program with some exceptions, but is very bright.. I feel sometimes he is making these choices, is that wrong of me? He dosen't want to do the work.. no effort, wants 1 on 1 constantly and school cannot give it... We have taken away his privledges and extra fun things, laptop, ipad, xbox.. I feel it does not matter, it dosen't phase him... I need to learn how to better handle this and come up with some new strategies.. any suggestions, comments?
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:58 PM   #2
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I don't know anything about this myself. But one potential resource I am aware of is the PACER Center in Minneapolis. Here's a link to their website:

PACER Center - Champions for Children with Disabilities

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Old 10-24-2018, 12:35 PM   #3
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Hi, Beanpole, and welcome! What does he want to do in the future? I know he's young, but maybe having him think about a future career and the importance of doing well in school might help.

Also, I know there are a lot of books out there for people/relatives with folks with ADHD. Maybe you can find one with such advice. My sons have it (grown now) but they didn't give up on school.

What does his teacher say about it?
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Old 10-24-2018, 04:07 PM   #4
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Does he see a therapist? Sorry that you're having problems with your son... school is hard
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Old 11-03-2018, 08:18 PM   #5
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Can only offer you perspective through the lens of my own experiences (Diagnosed Bipolar/ADHD) - School was a terrible experience for me, and it started around 5th/6th Grade - Not for lack of intelligence by any means - I knew I was smart - I was convinced I was smarter than my teachers and I didn't need them... and if I struggled in an area it wasn't for lack of effort - it was for lack of interest. Of course when I was a kid, medications for ADD/ADHD were just in their infancy, so I went without - and as a result, never made it through HS (Got my GED at 17 like it wasn't even a problem, didn't even study prior to taking it) Not sure how much I can blame not having Ritalin for that - there was a SLEW of other issues going on at that time which only further exacerbated the problem... Video Games and books became my escape from my from my overbearing but emotionally stunted parents, my mediocre teachers, and my vapid classmates. And if those things weren't available - I had just enough access to get my hands on whatever drugs I wanted - Parent's be damned. What did they know anyway? Am I scaring you yet?

Chances are, your kid is smart - likely too smart for his own good, and he feels stuck in a world of mediocrity. You (and the school) need to figure out ways to challenge him intellectually - Find an interest that resonates with him, and he'll likely become an expert in it within a fairly short time span - consider enrolling him in a program for the gifted and talented.
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Old 11-04-2018, 01:24 AM   #6
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I home school so take this with a grain of salt. Find what he's hyper focused in, find his love. As long as he's putting in the effort any other reg kid does then that's good enough. Look/plan for the GED and either trade school or community college depending on his life goals. Avoid fighting about this. Ask his teacher how long each home work assignment should take and write down on the assignment your start time and finish time. Only spend that much time on each assignment.

I say this because around 5th grade I burnt out and hated school. I spent the rest of my time barely passing. My parents made me sit for hours trying to play catch up. So I stopped bringing home any work. I also stopped doing class work because I saw no point I was just going to fail anyway. I was constantly in in-school-suspension because they would just give me my work and leave me alone. I came to home room late, skipped class for lunch solely to get ISS. My school did EVERYTHING they could think of to help but I wasn't made for school. I too dropped out the day I could, on my birthday. With no studying.
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