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Old 02-14-2019, 05:15 PM #1
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Tongue How do you know?

I have attachment issues that create a cycle of rejection and then reunion. So breaking up and getting back together.
How do I know that when I am trying to make a repair in a relationship that it's just not my attachment **** telling me I have to do it?
This whole thing is such a mind**** for me.
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Old 02-15-2019, 05:08 AM #2
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Default Re: How do you know?

I'm so sorry you're struggling, NattyLumpkins Attachment issues are definitely hard to get out of. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your attachment issues. And you'd be able to "break" the cycle. I feel like you already know, deep down, that it's your attachment issues that's causing you to do this. Unfortunately knowing is only half the battle - you have to learn how to fight as well! It's good that you're aware of it though. That's already a big step forward, trust me when I say that! Be proud of yourself for that. I'd suggest to talk to your doctor about this and see how it goes from there, if you haven't already. Hopefully he/she will be able to help you. I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I know it's hard. Please don't give up. Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Stay strong, NuttyLumpking. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 02-15-2019, 10:09 PM #3
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Thanks I needed that. I am/have been talking about it with my therapist but it seems like their is so much gray area. I definitely know when I'm swallowed by it, but sometimes I really don't and it just seems to make the whole thing so much worse. Oh well. Ever onward i guess.
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Old 02-16-2019, 05:45 AM #4
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Default Re: How do you know?

I think some of it has to do with how the other person in the relationship treats you. Some people exacerbate attachment issues for whatever reason.
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Old 02-16-2019, 09:39 PM #5
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Default Re: How do you know?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I think some of it has to do with how the other person in the relationship treats you. Some people exacerbate attachment issues for whatever reason.
Yep, I have a long history of being in relationships with abusive women.

I know the reason now why I did this and what exactly I was trying to resolve from a very bad childhood experience.

What is the most awful thing about it is that now, I wonder if any relationship I have ever had has ever not been just a need to resolve that childhood experience. I am glad I have the knowledge, but I'm still trying to balance the scales as to the worthiness of that knowledge because it has created a lot of pain. Pain is a formidable teacher, but I'm still trying to figure that out.
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