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Old 08-12-2018, 12:21 PM   #1
BrittanyAnn2609
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My Mood: Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

Unhappy Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

So I have been with my fiance for 15 months now. I was wondering if I have an attachment disorder to him. I know I have an attachment to him because whenever I am away from him I miss him and don't feel good. I also get racing thoughts and can't seem to focus on anything but texting him. I also follow him around the house like a lost puppy dog (when he goes to the kitchen to get food i usually follow to get food too, or whenever he goes to the basement for a cig I follow) We spend a lot of time in our bedroom because we live with my parents and both of us are unemployed (but in college online -- I am a grad student going for my master's in professional counseling, and he is just starting as a freshman going for his bachelor's in IT soon.) The only problem I have is he plays video games a lot and I feel neglected sometimes when I'm left to just sit on the bed on my computer or watch tv. I also have reoccuring dreams of him cheating on me (although he never has and I don't think he will) it is an extreme fear of mine because I don't want to lose him. He is my first 'real' relationship, and we are engaged. I don't know when we are going to get married because he doesn't have a job and is having trouble finding one. I want to marry him as soon as I can in fear of losing him and having to deal with a crazy depression and heartache. (I am also dx with bipolar 2, anxiety and depression, and BPD) What are your guys' thoughts? I've never talked about this with my psychiatrist but I might soon. I just started seeing a new psychiatrist-- but the first time I saw her, she kicked my fiance out of the room to wait in the waiting room. Also, I don't like going to any of my appointments or simply to the grocery store in town without him coming with me. I feel anxiety about going out without him. I fear that he is texting or talking to other "gamer girls" and I am incredibly insecure. I'm scared that the only reason he's with me is because he needs a place to live, but I hope that's not the case as he shows me a lot of affection and tells me he loves me countless times throughout the day. And also asked me to marry him 5 months into our relationship.. Just wondering what you guys think I should do?

Thanks,
Brittany
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Old 08-14-2018, 03:25 AM   #2
possum220
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Default Re: Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

Time to open the dialogue about attachment issues with your psychiatrist without you fiance in the room. Exactly what the issue is I have no idea but things seem a little unhealthy that you are anxious without him around.
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Old 08-14-2018, 11:01 AM   #3
BrittanyAnn2609
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Default Re: Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

Thanks for your response! I will mention it to my psychiatrist.
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Old 09-08-2018, 12:24 AM   #4
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Default Re: Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

codependant.
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:46 PM   #5
Deejay14
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Default Re: Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

He is so much younger than you at this stage of your life. If you are Borderline this anxiety about separation you have fits. You are both young and in school with no jobs...in my book I wouldn't even entertain the thought of marriage right now. A psychiatrist is not going to fix this. A good therapist can help. It's really not good that you have to follow him around the house. Get a handle on that. At his young age that will grow old quickly. You also have to do this for yourself so that life does not become unbearable.
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Old 09-09-2018, 06:49 PM   #6
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Default Re: Do I have an attachment disorder to my fiance?

Yeah, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me. Honestly if someone followed me everywhere I went, it would make me want to get away from them. You might be driving him away by being too clingy. Definitely something to talk to a therapist about.
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Old 12-28-2018, 02:52 PM   #7
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I'm reading the section if I know about black and white BPD at attachment styles are definaetly at my list of reading
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