Psych Central

Go Back   Forums at Psych Central > Mental Health Support > Attachment Disorders

Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 07-26-2017, 12:49 PM   #11
New Member
TheLeifK has no updates.
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1
2 yr Member
Default Re: I'm new; never been in love

Just had to respond to this OP and thank you for posting. I'm mid-40s, never been in love, don't expect I ever will be. I like some people in my life a lot, and some less, but never that all consuming thing, though I did get crushes as a younger person. But they were more obsession than love. I don't get the obsession with sex that the culture promotes, to me it seems an entirely strange thing to devote so much time to.

It wasn't until my mid-to-late 30s that I realized that i just did not have to date or have sex ever again if I didn't want. And I don't want.

Completely relate to having a mother who blamed me for rejecting her as a baby, with all the side personality disorders as well.

I also do not nourish friendships and tend to let them drift because I don't get lonely or miss them. They are just a text away or in my head. Now with facebook, there is barely a reason to catch up, all of their lives are on display.

I feel pretty happy and fulfilled alone and thankful that I live in a time when I can choose not to marry and have kids, but from time to time, I do still feel bad because I'm just so weird. Nobody likes to be the weird outsider and who in the world will I depend on when I'm old and frail?

But otherwise, even though a lot of people have pressured me to align to cultural norms (including one friend who is still trying to set me up on dates even though she knows I identify as asexual. I wonder what she expects those poor guys to do? Be celibate forever just to date me? I'm not that great!) I feel like I have finally gotten to a place in my life where I'm free to be me. Or find out who I am. Like the OP, the first 20 yrs of my life were enough hurt, drama, and chaos for a lifetime. The next 20 were me as a square peg trying to fit into the round hole of society. I hope the next 20 will be the peace I create and I have faith that these will be the best 20 yet. But yes, it will be very sparsely populated with humans (but very populated with animal friends.)
TheLeifK is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:05 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.
Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.


HomeAbout UsContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseDisclaimer
Forums HomeCommunity GuidelinesHelp

Helplines and Lifelines