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Unread 08-12-2017, 12:04 PM   #1
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Default Excessive Worry

How do you deal with excessive worry? Especially when you feel something hasn't been done perfectly by you or by someone else, and you're going to have further problems down the line because of it.

Today I'm simply stressing over a home repair I had done, that is most likely done extremely well, by someone highly recommended, but I'm stressing over one small part of it that may not be 100% perfect. I could call the contractor, but I'm telling myself this is my common theme. Worry, stress, anxiety over everything, every time, that almost turns into panic. This isn't my first go round with feeling like this. I don't think the repair needs to be fixed, but I feel overwhelmed by it anyway. What if I'm wrong? Ugh, can't think about it straight.

I'm also overwhelmed that in 5 years of therapy, small life things still set my anxiety off way more than I think they do for the majority of the population. Feeling somewhat helpless and hopeless. I live a functional life in society as a professional, and manage to make a good living and function. However, life has to be more than functioning, and I can't stand what this is doing to me inside.

How do I overcome this? My t says I'm difficult to medicate, and I am. Is there any hope? Will anyone ever hear me, understand how much this consumes me, and help me recover from it?
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Unread 08-12-2017, 03:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

Hello Lagisado29,
Mostly I just want to remind you that you are not alone. Excessive worrying is a problem for myself, and many others. We are over thinkers, who are usually pretty intelligent people. My favorite way to detach from worrying is to literally say the words disconnect in my mind. Right in the middle of an intense worrying session, I will realize that I'm obsessing over something and mentally repeat the word DISCONNECT!! A few times really loudly (in my head of course). This really works for me. I like watching YouTube for hypnotherapy to relax, and I came across a video years ago of a man using this technique. It breaks up the thoughts and gives you a chance to put different thoughts in your mind.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 04:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

Thanks Sans. I'm really struggling today. In a major way, and in so much physical pain because of it. My stomach hurts, my brain hurts, and when I try to make it stop by rationalizing why it will be ok, life will be ok, the problem isn't that severe, and I don't have to worry, all it causes me to do is start doing the opposite and worrying more, and then I feel more ill. I know this is a pattern I have. I know the world won't end because of it. But it feels very intense even having said that. I just can't handle it, and am wanting to self medicate somehow, someway. I don't have anything I can self medicate with however, which is a good thing. And I'm not the type to abuse drugs or alcohol anyway. I just want it to stop. I'm tired, and really really ill today. I would talk to someone about this, but I feel no one would hear me. So I sit here struggling. I will try the disconnect thing. I'm just afraid my brain will keep over thinking and not allow me to do this.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 05:25 PM   #4
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

I don't know if it can help today but I would recommend mindfulness and or meditation. I read a couple of books that helped me a lot (1) full catastrophe living by john karat zinn and (2) the power of now by Eckart Tolle.

Both help me be able to pull myself back from excessive worry and look at things in a different way. A big thing is acceptance and for example you could worry you will never lose weight and then the thing is stop and say "accept that you are overweight at this point in time" So with the job that was done wrong.. rather than being like.. I think the job was done wrong... be like if the job was done wrong .. that is ok.. the job is not 100% at this point in time.

The power of now suggest that your mind and your brain are not the same things. And your brain is actually a bad guy who tries to bring you down all the time. He calls it the ego. You don't have to listen to the ego. You have a thought like.. this project is done wrong - so angry... you can laugh at the thought and be like... ego.. I see what you are doing there... and nope not gonna do it. Nice try though. I don't have to "react" to what the ego throws up in my brain. The job might not be done right but that doesn't have to make me react.
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Unread 08-12-2017, 08:26 PM   #5
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

All good advice.. I just wish I hadn't rejected my t's attempts to teach me mindfulness activities. I've not wanted to do them. But now I could really use the skills of knowing how to do one.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 06:23 AM   #6
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

Quote:
Originally Posted by lagisado29 View Post
All good advice.. I just wish I hadn't rejected my t's attempts to teach me mindfulness activities. I've not wanted to do them. But now I could really use the skills of knowing how to do one.
Download it on kindle.. it will keep your distracted. Yes, I have to remind myself and sometimes the physical symptoms of anxiety will not stop just because the mind has. Then I rely on "ativan" which I have a script for pretty much all the time.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 06:46 AM   #7
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

I have a few apps on my phone that help me with my anxiety. You're not alone. I'm having that problem right now. The apps are Virtual Toolbox, Mindshift and Calm. I also try to distract myself with a funny movie or a good mystery novel. Finally, when it's really bad I write whatever is bothering me down and say to myself that I will only worry about it from 10:30-11:00 (or any other predetermined time) and really focus on the worry at that time and remind myself that I can only worry about it at the set time. As a last resort, I have a prescription for Valium in case it gets that bad. Sending big hugs.
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Unread 08-13-2017, 03:11 PM   #8
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Default Re: Excessive Worry

I learned Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and one of its key features is mindfulness. It also uses detaching oneself from the feeling and acceptance.
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