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Unread 06-18-2017, 05:43 PM   #1
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Default Love and Mental Illness

This is probably my anxiety talking, but...

Is it possible to have an anxiety and depression disorder, and still have someone fall in love with you, despite sometimes feeling like... a mess?
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Unread 06-18-2017, 05:46 PM   #2
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Default Re: Love and Mental Illness

Absolutely.
When we are going through rough times with depression and anxiety it is harder for us to see the good things about ourselves. But our loved ones can still see those good things.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 09:40 AM   #3
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Default Re: Love and Mental Illness

Yes,

I've had anxiety and depression issues for a long, long time. My SO met me when I was still being actively beaten and emotionally abused by my parents (I was a teenager, so was him).

My symptoms spiked some years later after the beatings stopped and I sought mental health help in my early twenties. That was when I got diagnosed though my anxiety and depressiveness have been with me since a young age.

He's still with me, still loving me, even though I'm a huge mess... And I have friends who love me enough to be my "chosen siblings" now, all of us with mental health issues from trauma and abuse. I didn't have good friends who cared about me previously.

I'm rambling - I just want to say that having mental disorders don't make you unlovable. Our mental illnesses don't define us, though they sure can be huge, massive, overwhelming.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 11:00 AM   #4
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Default Re: Love and Mental Illness

I feel in love with my wife before she knew the full extent of my illness. We went through some serious s***. Hospitals, med changes, we even had to move our wedding date because I was in the hospital.

She was so supportive and gave me incentive to stay on my meds and on the path to health. Our bond is so strong now, we can't imagine our lives without each other.

It IS possible to find love with mental illness. Like anyone without a mental lillness, finding love is a difficult task to accomplish.

Keep your heart open, but protect it at the same time.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 01:16 PM   #5
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Yes! Yes! Yes!
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Unread 06-19-2017, 03:34 PM   #6
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Yes, definitely.

With my husband, we had to admit to things before our relationship went further. He has MS and depression from that, and I had depression that ended up being bipolar plus anxiety. Been through hell with him and he still loves me, and vice versa. Been married 6 years so far.
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Unread 06-19-2017, 08:36 PM   #7
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Oh yes you can!

I have never hidden my mental illness from my boyfriend. We have discussed it at great length (I am bipolar) and what it means for me and how it might affect the relationship. He is very supportive and stayed with me through a 9 week hospitalisation. He is wonderful.
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Unread 06-20-2017, 01:06 PM   #8
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Yes, absolutely!!
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Unread 06-21-2017, 02:14 PM   #9
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Yes!

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Unread 06-26-2017, 11:29 AM   #10
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Default Re: Love and Mental Illness

I truly believe that it is possible, and at it's best, love is the greatest ally in our fight against our mental illnesses.

I look to the title of a poem by Bianca Stone - "because you love you come apart." What I interpret that to mean has been said countless times in some other form or another. It comes down to this idea of loving someone so entirely that you come apart and lay yourself bare to that other person, allowing yourself to be vulnerable to them, which can sometimes be easier than allowing ourselves to appear vulnerable in our own eyes. And it is, of course, a mutual relationship: you open yourself up to the other, allowing them to open themselves up to you. There is some great healing that happens when someone trusts you enough to be so vulnerable themselves. The poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote that love consists of two solitudes that protect and border each other. I've always liked that way of seeing it (check out his poetry and prose for further wisdom) because he doesn't ignore the fact that we live our whole lives within ourselves, yet when we are together there is a oneness that occurs as our borders touch and greet one another, creating a bond that is nearly essential for a loving, laboring life.
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