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Old 12-21-2018, 12:52 AM   #1
Foo Fighter
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Default I really can't do this, feeling hopless

I know I did bring this,up but I absolutely have no idea how to manage my husband's benefits. I usually give him my money as he is responsible with it. Usually his dad handled the benefits. Now I have had to do it and I'm terrified of giving it to him because I think I will screw it up or be accused of stealing if I put it in my bank account (my mother who thought this idea up, said this was okay but I'm getting a lot of info that it's not) so I don't know where it should go or where it should end up. The handout was maddening and it doesn't make any sense to me nor do I have the time or energy to track him financially. I have tried as my husband has tried telling my mom we thought this was a bad idea and that we wanted his dad to stay as payee. No. Fell on deaf ears. I don't want to talk to my father in law about it, the SSA is no help because it takes two hours and multiple transfers to answer a question. I'm terrified they will throw me in jail. My husband has access to my money so he isn't being neglected but I don't know where to put it, what to do or anything so it's sitting there. I don't even know how to do his expense thing and I know I'll end up in jail if I write he didn't spend it. My anxiety hasn't been good ever since we got the account set up. It is way too much for me to handle and my husband and I are planning on looking into a service after the new year. Sorry to bring it up again, I just feel there isn't anything I can do
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Old 12-21-2018, 04:34 AM   #2
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I'm sorry you're struggling so badly, Foo Fighter. Please try to stay calm. I don't think you'll end up to jail, but it's clear you're struggling with managing the money. I think looking into a service is a good idea. Have you tried to ask the bank for help and advice? Maybe that could help. I hope things will get better soon. Please don't give up. Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 12-21-2018, 09:22 PM   #3
healingme4me
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Maybe reach out to an attorney, many give 30minutes of free consult? If it's going towards household bills, for instance, that's one way to consider it properly managed, just a thought and suggestion.
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Old 01-21-2019, 07:24 PM   #4
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Default Re: I really can't do this, feeling hopless

We are still working on it. I think we will get it worked out after tax season but my husband wants his dad to be payee.
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Old 01-22-2019, 04:34 AM   #5
sarahsweets
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I do not think I understand..do you mean that your husband gets SS or disability and your FIL managed your finances and now you have to do it? Are these other benefits like retirement or (sorry to ask) death benefits? Why would you go to jail? Can you share more so I understand?

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Originally Posted by Foo Fighter View Post
I know I did bring this,up but I absolutely have no idea how to manage my husband's benefits. I usually give him my money as he is responsible with it. Usually his dad handled the benefits. Now I have had to do it and I'm terrified of giving it to him because I think I will screw it up or be accused of stealing if I put it in my bank account (my mother who thought this idea up, said this was okay but I'm getting a lot of info that it's not) so I don't know where it should go or where it should end up. The handout was maddening and it doesn't make any sense to me nor do I have the time or energy to track him financially. I have tried as my husband has tried telling my mom we thought this was a bad idea and that we wanted his dad to stay as payee. No. Fell on deaf ears. I don't want to talk to my father in law about it, the SSA is no help because it takes two hours and multiple transfers to answer a question. I'm terrified they will throw me in jail. My husband has access to my money so he isn't being neglected but I don't know where to put it, what to do or anything so it's sitting there. I don't even know how to do his expense thing and I know I'll end up in jail if I write he didn't spend it. My anxiety hasn't been good ever since we got the account set up. It is way too much for me to handle and my husband and I are planning on looking into a service after the new year. Sorry to bring it up again, I just feel there isn't anything I can do
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