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Old 12-10-2018, 08:35 AM   #1
xmascarol
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Default Sensitive and insecure

I I am very sensitive and insecure .and with that people tend to walk all over me I use to hold back and not say a word but I cannot do that anymore sometimes because it hurts to much. I mean why is it that someone can say something to me and I cant say anything back but when I try to I just explain why I feel this way. Why do people tend to pick on others who are very sensitive and insecure is beyond me. Are they just being rude or dont they understand? I tried one time to explain to someone how something they said upset me, I get all tongue tied and all nervous she did say she was sorry yet she also said I worry to much too. That I cannot help. I am sure that being sensitive comes from the way I was brought up. My mom and dad verbually abused me, so much so that my mom would always tell me that I would never have any friends. She even made fun of the way I looked. I really didnt have to many friends when I was younger still that way now to kind of. I cannot help it if I am sensitive and insecure,. I would never be mean to anyone because I know how it feels .It is just that explaining to someone that you are sensitive and insecure is a very hard thing to do, they tend to look at you like you are crazy. I am not crazy .I just get tried of rude remarks from people sometimes.
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Old 12-10-2018, 12:21 PM   #2
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I'm so sorry you're struggling, xmascarol Yes, people tend to bully those who are more sensitive or insecure about themselves. It's really not fair That's why I believe it's important to take care of our own self-esteem. There are many books on the subject? Have you tried to read some? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 12-10-2018, 02:18 PM   #3
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I'm so sorry you're struggling, xmascarol Yes, people tend to bully those who are more sensitive or insecure about themselves. It's really not fair That's why I believe it's important to take care of our own self-esteem. There are many books on the subject? Have you tried to read some? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 12-10-2018, 03:23 PM   #4
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I've always felt as though I must have had a target on my back... or perhaps a sign that says: "kick him- he's vulnerable." I sometimes think people can smell vulnerability on you. Over the years I've become pretty-much thoroughly reclusive in real life though. So I don't have those problems anymore.
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Old 12-10-2018, 06:41 PM   #5
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I've always felt as though I must have had a target on my back... or perhaps a sign that says: "kick him- he's vulnerable." I sometimes think people can smell vulnerability on you. Over the years I've become pretty-much thoroughly reclusive in real life though. So I don't have those problems anymore.
I to tend to try to speak up for myself but it is so hard because I get all messed up with my words
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:33 PM   #6
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Default Sensitive and insecure

Quote:
Originally Posted by xmascarol View Post
I I am very sensitive and insecure .and with that people tend to walk all over me I use to hold back and not say a word but I cannot do that anymore sometimes because it hurts to much. I mean why is it that someone can say something to me and I cant say anything back but when I try to I just explain why I feel this way. Why do people tend to pick on others who are very sensitive and insecure is beyond me. Are they just being rude or dont they understand? I tried one time to explain to someone how something they said upset me, I get all tongue tied and all nervous she did say she was sorry yet she also said I worry to much too. That I cannot help. I am sure that being sensitive comes from the way I was brought up. My mom and dad verbually abused me, so much so that my mom would always tell me that I would never have any friends. She even made fun of the way I looked. I really didnt have to many friends when I was younger still that way now to kind of. I cannot help it if I am sensitive and insecure,. I would never be mean to anyone because I know how it feels .It is just that explaining to someone that you are sensitive and insecure is a very hard thing to do, they tend to look at you like you are crazy. I am not crazy .I just get tried of rude remarks from people sometimes.


I used to be really bothered by this. It still upsets me at times but Iíve learned to share very little with people. I keep my discussions superficial even though Iím not a superficial person and I hate small talk. I try to be a good listener and say positive things to people as much as possible and leave it at that if I can. I also donít respond when people say things that cross my boundaries... not unless itís something that really warrants a response... I take a mental note of it when it happens and then I just politely stay away from that person. I figure Iíll be as kind as possible but for most people, I keep it very distant.
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Old 12-11-2018, 06:15 AM   #7
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Quote:
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I used to be really bothered by this. It still upsets me at times but Iíve learned to share very little with people. I keep my discussions superficial even though Iím not a superficial person and I hate small talk. I try to be a good listener and say positive things to people as much as possible and leave it at that if I can. I also donít respond when people say things that cross my boundaries... not unless itís something that really warrants a response... I take a mental note of it when it happens and then I just politely stay away from that person. I figure Iíll be as kind as possible but for most people, I keep it very distant.
This sounds very familiar... It's a wall we build around ourselves. I do the same. I guess it's a double edged sword.
We stay safe but we also appear boring and superficial. That might create a distance because people can't relate to us.

I dread the question "how are you?". In my culture, you're supposed to actually answer honestly and say something about your life. People often tell you about some problem they have in order to show they trust you and they expect you to share something worth them. I absolutely hate this because I can only say I'm fine, thanks, which basically kills all potential conversation... I just have no idea what to say!

I'm sorry this might be off topic but it does relate in a way. It's so difficult to appear normal and sociable, yet don't get hurt :-(
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Old 12-11-2018, 06:45 AM   #8
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Default Re: Sensitive and insecure

Quote:
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This sounds very familiar... It's a wall we build around ourselves. I do the same. I guess it's a double edged sword.
We stay safe but we also appear boring and superficial. That might create a distance because people can't relate to us.

I dread the question "how are you?". In my culture, you're supposed to actually answer honestly and say something about your life. People often tell you about some problem they have in order to show they trust you and they expect you to share something worth them. I absolutely hate this because I can only say I'm fine, thanks, which basically kills all potential conversation... I just have no idea what to say!

I'm sorry this might be off topic but it does relate in a way. It's so difficult to appear normal and sociable, yet don't get hurt :-(
I do that a lot to tell people I am fine ,because I have learned sometimes when someone asks you how you are feeling they really dont care. It happend to me this summer my neighbor asked me how I was feeling .she proceeded to walk away with her back towards me I just I am ok, I was not .Having bad anxieties at the time but I didnt expect her to get it.
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Old 12-11-2018, 11:27 AM   #9
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Default Re: Sensitive and insecure

Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker33 View Post
This sounds very familiar... It's a wall we build around ourselves. I do the same. I guess it's a double edged sword.

We stay safe but we also appear boring and superficial. That might create a distance because people can't relate to us.



I dread the question "how are you?". In my culture, you're supposed to actually answer honestly and say something about your life. People often tell you about some problem they have in order to show they trust you and they expect you to share something worth them. I absolutely hate this because I can only say I'm fine, thanks, which basically kills all potential conversation... I just have no idea what to say!



I'm sorry this might be off topic but it does relate in a way. It's so difficult to appear normal and sociable, yet don't get hurt :-(


I understand and I agree with you. I find places where I can be authentic but I had to learn the hard way that I canít be authentic everywhere and I feel better when I put the wall up. Took me years to accept that. Sensitive and insecure
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Old 12-11-2018, 11:47 AM   #10
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Default Re: Sensitive and insecure

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I've always felt as though I must have had a target on my back... or perhaps a sign that says: "kick him- he's vulnerable." I sometimes think people can smell vulnerability on you. Over the years I've become pretty-much thoroughly reclusive in real life though. So I don't have those problems anymore.


This sounds like me ... a sign that says ďkick fuzzy bearĒ

I have learnt however that everyone who tries to kick me is an a-hole with poor taste....
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