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Old 11-19-2018, 07:51 PM   #1
AzulOscuro
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Default Social skills: How to quit a conversation

Maybe Iím gonna ask something stupid but itís something that has been spinning my mind for years.
I find very hard to cut conversations off. When someone approaches to me, I tend to give that impression of ďIím all earsĒ. Iím pretty shy and introvert, especially with people I donít know. I donít find easy to trust people I donít know.
I sometimes find that completely strangers open to me, I guess they do the same with other people, and there they go, they talk to me about everything. About their whole life, their struggles, their happy moments, their lives and part of their relatives, neighboursí lives.
I donít feel very comfortable with people who are so open and talk and talk about everything with me, a completely stranger.
Here is the point when I need to go off and stop the conversation.
I always find very hard to cut the conversation off. I donít want to seem rude or make that person feel rejected.
I know people with social skills know how to do it.
I feel bad when I do it and I think that I do it awkwardly when I dare to.
Someone feels identify with this?
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:31 PM   #2
TishaBuv
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

At a certain point when the conversation starts winding down, I say ďIt was great to see you.Ē Then I move my body away. Theyíll usually pick up on my lead and it naturally ends and we part. Sometimes they donít though. Like with my landscaper. Sometimes I start closing the door while heís still talking! Itís so awkward. But thatís not the norm.
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:33 PM   #3
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

What keeps you from ending the conversation? Do you feel rude?
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:43 PM   #4
AzulOscuro
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
At a certain point when the conversation starts winding down, I say ďIt was great to see you.Ē Then I move my body away. Theyíll usually pick up on my lead and it naturally ends and we part. Sometimes they donít though. Like with my landscaper. Sometimes I start closing the door while heís still talking! Itís so awkward. But thatís not the norm.
Yeah, there are people who seem they have just gone out of an isolation
period on a prison. Lol! They are hungry to be listened.
Yes, I barely dare to say the first ďgoodbyeĒ word.

Yes, nice to see you or nice to meet you sounds a very appropiate comment. I guess I need practise. I see myself how I even encourage the person to go on talking. I guess is bc I try to avoid at any account that this person could feel rejected as I myself felt in many occasions.

I will try to practise what you do.
Thanks!!!!
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:51 PM   #5
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

Saying ďIt was...Ē is hinting that itís over.
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:56 PM   #6
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

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What keeps you from ending the conversation? Do you feel rude?
I donít know. I guess that I donít want anyone to feel or think what I feel and think about myself when I misunderstand someoneís behaviour as a rejection.
I sometimes see reality through lots of mental filters. Surely, what many people take as natural and donít give a second thought, I overthink it.
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Old 11-19-2018, 08:59 PM   #7
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Saying ďIt was...Ē is hinting that itís over.
Yes, I see. :-)
But, I canít avoid feeling bad.
Iím gonna try it though.
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Old 11-20-2018, 08:20 AM   #8
Sisabel
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
I donít know. I guess that I donít want anyone to feel or think what I feel and think about myself when I misunderstand someoneís behaviour as a rejection.

I sometimes see reality through lots of mental filters. Surely, what many people take as natural and donít give a second thought, I overthink it.


I think it would be good to think more on what is best for you versus what the other people are thinking and feeling. Have you noticed how many other people interrupt or abruptly end conversations? I have always found that annoying and like you, I have tended to be a polite listener. I have learned to move away and end conversations I donít want to be part of. It didnít feel natural at first and often it still feels rude to me. But itís also a relief because thereís no sense in other people talking and taking up your time and energy. Itís exhausting. Acting really busy helps me to not feel so rude about cutting off the conversation. Social skills: How to quit a conversation
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Old 11-20-2018, 08:23 AM   #9
Sisabel
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
I donít know. I guess that I donít want anyone to feel or think what I feel and think about myself when I misunderstand someoneís behaviour as a rejection.

I sometimes see reality through lots of mental filters. Surely, what many people take as natural and donít give a second thought, I overthink it.


Ah. I just re-read what you wrote here and saw that you wrote about rejection. My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you donít want to reject people because you know how hurtful it feels to be rejected. I can completely relate. But it does feel better to set boundaries. Social skills: How to quit a conversation
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Old 11-20-2018, 12:15 PM   #10
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Default Re: Social skills: How to quit a conversation

((((AzulOscuro)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. I agree to just say some phrase of circumstance, like "It was nice to talk to you" or "I have to go now".
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