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Old 11-06-2018, 04:55 PM   #1
Whoaminoone
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I have a dx of agoraphobia. I also have ďresting ****** faceĒ, which basically means people interpret my natural facial expression as upset or angry 99.999% of the time, regardless of how Iím actually feeling 😂 When I go to public places and try to speak to people, I panic. Physically, my heart feels like itís going to pound out of my chest, I shake, I can hear the pulse in my ears (which frowns out surrounding sounds, and I have to concentrate on controlling my breathing so as not to hyperventilate. When I manage to speak at these tones, I tend to stutter and my voice is apparently very loud and abrasiveó people accuse me of ďyellingĒ, being argumentative, or ďhaving an attitude problem. None of which is true! Iím just terrified and trying to interact without the humiliation of face planting by passing out 🤣 The question Iím trying to get to is: does anyone have any tips, tricks, or advice on how to make others understand Iím honestly NOT just a horrible ****** with a bad attitude thatís yelling? Maybe advice on how to help others understand these things (expression; loud voice) are effects of my anxiety disorder?
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Old 11-07-2018, 03:22 PM   #2
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I'm sorry you are having to deal with such a difficult & perplexing problem. I don't really have any particularly useful suggestions to offer. But I noticed no one had yet replied to your post. So I thought I would.

I searched PsychCentral's archives for something related to this but could not find anything. I did find one webpage that discussed the problem. Here's a link to that webpage:

When People Say You Always Looks Angry/Upset/Worried/etc | www.succeedsocially.com

Beyond the kinds of things that are suggested on that webpage, I guess what occurs to me is that perhaps one alternative would be to focus on the social anxiety you are experiencing. There may or may not be a lot you can do to change the way people interpret your resting face. But social anxiety is a condition that is treatable. So here are links to 7 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on social anxiety... the first by DocJohn:

Social Anxiety Overview

Social Anxiety Disorder Symptoms

Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment

6 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety

https://psychcentral.com/blog/7-ways...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/4-psych...ocial-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/book-re...dium=popular17

Best wishes...
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Old 11-07-2018, 04:12 PM   #3
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Thank you
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Old 11-08-2018, 11:53 AM   #4
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Iíd like to encourage you to follow the advices from this link Skeezyks pointed you out. Then, if you feel like, you could share your progress with us.

I know very well how a facial expression is shaped by feelings and thoughts along the time.
I lived similar moments to the ones you mentioned. How I couldnít erase my worries and anxietyís reflection on my face and even in my own body language.
If you were diagnosed with agoraphobia, I guess itís a whole world for you to get used interacting with people and much more when some people donít show many careful when making comments that no way were asked for. But, I agree with what itís said in the web page. They rarely meant to be rude or insensitive although they are. When you are also gravitating around the similar thought in your mind, feelings of inferiority, insecurity and inadequacy, of course, you are gonna be prone to take these comments in a negative and personal way. And hey! We are in a world where what counts is what we pretend, what we show off and not what we really are.
And some people seems to not be able to cope with their own problems and thus, have to cope with a different image other than the offered by a person who wears, you know...the pink color glasses.
Itís bad considered even cry too much in a funeral. When the healthiest thing is to let your feelings flow out.
If youíre a guy, itís even worse considered.

Iím now recalling some of these remarks I was praised with and they were pretty hurtful for my self-esteem. And I understand what you are going through.

I wish you very luck!
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Old 11-08-2018, 01:43 PM   #5
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((((whoaminoone)))) I'm sorry you're struggling with this. I don't know how helpful it can be, but perhaps you can try to explain your problem to others? For example, if someone comments your face, you can say that that's just the way the face looks, ecc. Do you think that could work? .sadhug:
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Old 11-09-2018, 05:06 PM   #6
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I too tend to have resting ***** face. People tend to think I'm mean even when it's not my intent (usually depression, anxiety, stress). It was majorly impacting me at work because I'm a manager and my employees were constantly telling me I look irritated and wanting to know if they did something wrong. In my case, I just started to joke with people that I have resting ***** face. It helped. I guess that works for people you know, but maybe not with strangers.
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Old 11-09-2018, 08:47 PM   #7
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Sounds like you may have a case of the Craigs (one of my favorite characters from one of the later seasons of Parks and Rec)

Honestly, I feel that way too sometimes and the minute I stop smiling people ask why aren't you smiling. Sometimes I feel like people look at me thinking 'you look offended'. I don't go out much because much of what people do in public, I find offensive. That, and finding a good place to eat out on a budget is difficult. Also, sorry to hear about your difficulties interacting with people. I have been through a similar rough time in my life and still do experience a few of those same symptoms. The right people will be accepting of who you are and with time, I hope your symptoms lessen when braving into challenging social situations.
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Old 11-10-2018, 10:06 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scatterbrained04 View Post
I too tend to have resting ***** face. People tend to think I'm mean even when it's not my intent (usually depression, anxiety, stress). It was majorly impacting me at work because I'm a manager and my employees were constantly telling me I look irritated and wanting to know if they did something wrong. In my case, I just started to joke with people that I have resting ***** face. It helped. I guess that works for people you know, but maybe not with strangers.
Having social anxiety and being able to joke about something that normally could make you wish to be eaten by The Earth, is at top of achievements.
Congratulations!!
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