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Old 12-28-2017, 02:24 PM   #1
AbladeintheMeadow
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Default Journalling

I was just wondering if anyone could help me with a dilemma I am having.

I want to start journalling. I've noticed recently that my state of mind can alter dramatically throughout the day from the depths of despair to being OK. I also have times when I have thoughts - or at least I think they are thoughts - but which at the time I think are real & then later when I'm trying to recall those thoughts or whatever they are and I can't.

Anyway. I keep thinking - particularly when I'm feeling bad - that I should go & see my GP but by the time I get an appointment, even if it's the same day, I will probably feel better & either cancel or not be able to explain myself.

Because of all of the above I thought that journalling would help me capture how I'm feeling in that moment & then I could take it with me to my GP?

The issue I'm having? I don't know how to keep my journal. If I keep it on paper format I live in fear of it being discovered & read by my family & if it's going to work I need to be honest in what I write. I don't want them to see it. If I keep it on the notes section of my phone which feels like the safest place - I'm afraid of the data being lost & I don't know whether the GP will find it as easy to read?

All of this is bothering me & I feel mithered & undecided & then I become anxious. Just typing this is giving me palpitations.

I'm having the same issue with lists. I'm trying write a to do list but I want it in a format that I can keep with the date next to the items as I do them so I can see how much or how little I'm accomplishing. So it needs to be in a book or a pad where the pages don't come out...and then I can't decide whether the 'things' to do should be on the same page or in the same book as 'things to buy' & what about my aims for 2018? Should they have a separate page or book? If I do them separately I end up with multiple books or parts of a book to keep checking & looking at & keep safe & again it just all becomes overwhelming.

I'm eally struggling with any kind of motivation to do anything at the moment. I find no joy in anything. I can't seem to think of anything I actually want to do so I just keep doing things other people are doing in the hope...actually I don't know....in the hope that I'll stop feeling so lost?

Sorry. This post has kind of morphed. I'm not even sure it's in the right forum now?

Desperation??

Any help at all would be most appreciated. Thank you.
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Old 12-29-2017, 05:04 AM   #2
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Sounds like it's sorta like journalling a dream. By the time you wake up to write it down you forget what the dream is about. Is it possible it just write down some general notes with dates and times and later that date go back and rewrite more in detail? Maybe time consuming but could work
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Old 12-29-2017, 11:44 AM   #3
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use an online journal
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Old 12-29-2017, 04:45 PM   #4
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Thank you both for taking the time to reply.

I hadn't thought about just doing some brief notes. I will try that. Maybe it will be enough to jog my memory. Thank you

And as daft as this may sound I didn't know there were such things as online journals. Thank you. That could work.

I feel a bit calmer today. Sometimes I read my original posts & it's like a different person has written them. Which I guess comes from the rapid changes in how I feel during anyone day. Thank you.
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Old 01-09-2018, 12:54 AM   #5
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Have you been journaling? How has it been going? Some people keep a "day book" with everything in one book...thoughts...ideas...goals...lists. Sounds messy but I may try it because I have too many separate books to keep track of and it's a pain. If you keep a hard copy journal only use initials or even your own code names so if it is found others won't find it so interesting. Most people don't care about reading someone's journal unless they are in it. I always disguise people, places, and events so that I can carry a proper journal. I think now I may start a day book. Good Luck. Thanks for the word "mithered"....I never heard of it and so had to look it up. It's a great word.
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Old 01-09-2018, 02:48 PM   #6
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online journalling is great

livejournal especially is a really good service that allows you to customise your journal

plus- their are applications for it you can download so you don't have to visit the website
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Old 01-09-2018, 02:50 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AbladeintheMeadow View Post
I was just wondering if anyone could help me with a dilemma I am having.

I want to start journalling. I've noticed recently that my state of mind can alter dramatically throughout the day from the depths of despair to being OK. I also have times when I have thoughts - or at least I think they are thoughts - but which at the time I think are real & then later when I'm trying to recall those thoughts or whatever they are and I can't.

Anyway. I keep thinking - particularly when I'm feeling bad - that I should go & see my GP but by the time I get an appointment, even if it's the same day, I will probably feel better & either cancel or not be able to explain myself.

Because of all of the above I thought that journalling would help me capture how I'm feeling in that moment & then I could take it with me to my GP?

The issue I'm having? I don't know how to keep my journal. If I keep it on paper format I live in fear of it being discovered & read by my family & if it's going to work I need to be honest in what I write. I don't want them to see it. If I keep it on the notes section of my phone which feels like the safest place - I'm afraid of the data being lost & I don't know whether the GP will find it as easy to read?

All of this is bothering me & I feel mithered & undecided & then I become anxious. Just typing this is giving me palpitations.

I'm having the same issue with lists. I'm trying write a to do list but I want it in a format that I can keep with the date next to the items as I do them so I can see how much or how little I'm accomplishing. So it needs to be in a book or a pad where the pages don't come out...and then I can't decide whether the 'things' to do should be on the same page or in the same book as 'things to buy' & what about my aims for 2018? Should they have a separate page or book? If I do them separately I end up with multiple books or parts of a book to keep checking & looking at & keep safe & again it just all becomes overwhelming.

I'm eally struggling with any kind of motivation to do anything at the moment. I find no joy in anything. I can't seem to think of anything I actually want to do so I just keep doing things other people are doing in the hope...actually I don't know....in the hope that I'll stop feeling so lost?

Sorry. This post has kind of morphed. I'm not even sure it's in the right forum now?

Desperation??

Any help at all would be most appreciated. Thank you.


this is why my first pdoc eventually refused to see me anymore.

I'd ring up crying in the morning because I couldn't cope, and later when he had time to talk to me I'd be laughing and giggling and on a high
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Old 01-13-2018, 11:59 AM   #8
AbladeintheMeadow
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
Have you been journaling? How has it been going? Some people keep a "day book" with everything in one book...thoughts...ideas...goals...lists. Sounds messy but I may try it because I have too many separate books to keep track of and it's a pain. If you keep a hard copy journal only use initials or even your own code names so if it is found others won't find it so interesting. Most people don't care about reading someone's journal unless they are in it. I always disguise people, places, and events so that I can carry a proper journal. I think now I may start a day book. Good Luck. Thanks for the word "mithered"....I never heard of it and so had to look it up. It's a great word.
Thank you for asking. It's been going OK. I actually found a journal with a padlock on it so I bought that and another book for my lists. The journalling has been good. I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself tho' I do look back & it is like someone else has written some of it - but I'm just going with it on the basis that was how I was feeling at the time. & thank you for the suggestion about using initials or a code. I'm going to do that. I have found that right in the middle of feeling a certain way it's not been an appropriate time to get my journal out & start writing so I've been making in the moment notes on my phone & then journalling later. That works OK too. What I have found is that on good days I've forgotten to journal. I only seem to feel the need on bad days. I'm not sure whether I should make more effort to capture the good days or not? I'd be interested on any view's either way on that point

Thank you for taking the time to reply. And mithered is a good word isn't it?...it's exactly the right description for how I feel a lot of the time.
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Old 01-13-2018, 12:03 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
this is why my first pdoc eventually refused to see me anymore.

I'd ring up crying in the morning because I couldn't cope, and later when he had time to talk to me I'd be laughing and giggling and on a high
I don't know whether to say reading this made me feel so much better. Feels wrong to be glad about something that is (or I find) difficult to understand in myself. But thank you. I don't feel so....alone with that bit of me now.

I'm sorry your Pdoc refused to see you as a result. That really wasn't helpful of them in my opinion. I hope you have found someone more understanding.

Thank you for helping me
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Old 01-13-2018, 05:49 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AbladeintheMeadow View Post
Thank you for asking. It's been going OK. I actually found a journal with a padlock on it so I bought that and another book for my lists. The journalling has been good. I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself tho' I do look back & it is like someone else has written some of it - but I'm just going with it on the basis that was how I was feeling at the time. & thank you for the suggestion about using initials or a code. I'm going to do that. I have found that right in the middle of feeling a certain way it's not been an appropriate time to get my journal out & start writing so I've been making in the moment notes on my phone & then journalling later. That works OK too. What I have found is that on good days I've forgotten to journal. I only seem to feel the need on bad days. I'm not sure whether I should make more effort to capture the good days or not? I'd be interested on any view's either way on that point

Thank you for taking the time to reply. And mithered is a good word isn't it?...it's exactly the right description for how I feel a lot of the time.




I have always felt bothered that I don't journal when things are going well...so yes, to answer your question, my journals are most exclusively from difficult times. I have finally accepted that...my journals are something I use when I am troubled. I don't see them as a record of my life...but, rather, more like "workbooks" I use to work through problems and difficult times. I don't know if this makes sense. Later...when I go back and read old journals I see how I worked through a particular problem. Reading old journals is insightful. I have gotten used to using initials (and code names) in my journals. I think getting a journal with a lock is good. It shows others that it is private. Good Luck...it sounds like you are doing a really great job using this tool. I am proud of you for becoming a very effective fellow-journaler! (I think I might have made up the word journaler!)
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