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Old 12-09-2018, 03:47 PM   #961
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I made the mistake of getting coffee because of a long shift at work. I had a large Snapple apple too. Big mistake on both parts. Both the apple juice thing and coffee caused my anxiety to reach heights I havenít seen in years. I couldnít do anything about it at work except take silent deep breaths. The second I punched out though I severely dissociated. I took a Xanax, but I felt all confused and like I wasnít in my body. I had to make sure I was wearing the correct coat and not anyone elseís. stuff like that. I went out to eat. I felt like I was going to die. Like I had an infection or something. I realized I was probably having an anxiety attack. So I thought since I hadnít eaten much since last night that prime rib and fries were what I needed. But I am the opposite of a stress eater. So the bread that came before the food, just caused me to feel like I was either going to throw up, or lose control. I went to the bathroom, and hung out for a couple minutes. When I got back, the prime rib was there but I asked the waitress to pack everything up and we left.

Now half an hour later I am on the futon. I have just taken a second Xanax and I am doing my deep breathing and Iím trying to stay calm. I kinda feel better.

Coffeee is defiantly out now. And it was just a small iced one from dunkin too.
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Old 12-09-2018, 07:53 PM   #962
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I wasn't overly anxious today.
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Old 12-10-2018, 03:30 PM   #963
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Confronted two things that have been Giving me a huge amount of anxiety lately. I went to the gym and I went to the laundromat and did my laundry
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:36 PM   #964
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I can get my Xanax refilled on the 19th, but I can probably get it refilled a couple days sooner. I get 60 a month 2X a day. I know I had a few left from last month, but I just counted and I have 30 left. Maybe if I actually took it the way my doctor wants me to my anxiety wouldnít be so bad.

I obviously am not having the issues my previous doctor assumed I would with benzos, and my therapist agreed with me.
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Old 12-11-2018, 02:45 PM   #965
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My anxiety has been kind of bad today but itís just because Iíve had a couple days off work and then starting tomorrow Iím working a lot of days in a row.
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Old 12-11-2018, 10:22 PM   #966
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Today my anxiety was there almost all day at work. Itís a feeling of self consciousness, why, also some social anxiety mixed in, but itís more anxiety. Worry about so many things and mostly embarrassed, why did I do this wrong and then how did the person take it who helped me, are they judging and scrutinizing me. Why canít I communicate better and explain myself and why I did this. Dislike that feeling, anxiety and worry and actually usually kind of laid back. Used to do yoga and meditation and it does help.
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:56 AM   #967
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Moderately anxious today
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Old 12-12-2018, 07:18 PM   #968
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Work wasnít too bad anxiety wise. I was working with people I liked. It was just slightly confusing. I did feel kind of slightly physically sick due to my low calorie diet. But I made it through work once I had something to drink. I didnít have too many anxious thoughts. I only took one Xanax instead of 2.

So Iíd give my anxiety a 2 today. It was actually the lowest itís been in a week or so.
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Old 12-13-2018, 01:34 PM   #969
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My anxiety was fine today. And I worked. My anxiety sucked when I was off a few days ago. This has happened before. I feel good on the days I work and crabby and moody on the days I donít. I guess Iím just at a loss when I donít have work.

But then I had that anxiety attack when I worked last week and now I know that Iím just not making any sense. All I know is Iíve felt good these last couple of days.
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Old 12-13-2018, 10:19 PM   #970
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So sleepy today and still adjusting to working an hour earlier maybe. So tired that I feel as though I think less clearly, anxious at work some and want to a great job so bad. Itís just a tough time of year with holidays, feeling sad since dad passed in June and his birthday is in December. Feel like crying often this past week. Canít wait for the week of Christmas since will take the week off.
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