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Old 05-25-2018, 09:14 AM   #1
MiCiBella
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Trig Any help is welcome

Hi all,

I don't know if this is the right forum to post this, but I've been battling a relapse with anorexia recently. Today I freaked out and had a lot more food than I'm comfortable with (just vegetables, but it was still over my calorie amount I normally allow myself), and now I feel like I'm on the verge of suicide. I've been dealing with suicidal thoughts separate from my eating disorder in general as well. I don't have any plans to actually kill myself, but I want to so bad, and I'm just so tired of trying to fight depression and anxiety and this ******* eating disorder. I don't know what to do anymore.

Last edited by Lavender.; 05-25-2018 at 12:34 PM.. Reason: added trigger
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Old 05-25-2018, 03:00 PM   #2
raging vortex
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welcome.

we all slip up now and again- you can put that behind you and start again.

eating disorders are hard, but like anything, it can get better (eventually)

are your suicide feeling related to your eating disorder, or is that because of a diffrent reason. are you getting any professional help- and are you on good meds?

keep posting here!
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Old 05-25-2018, 07:03 PM   #3
Skeezyks
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Hello MiCiBella: Welcome to PsychCentral. I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. You mentioned you've been dealing with suicidal thoughts separate from your eating disorder as well as related to it. As "shattered sanity" wrote, you can put your recent eating disorder relapse(s) behind you & start again. However, your suicidal thoughts are, to my mind, something else. (I've had some personal experience with this.)

I'd like to encourage you, as emphatically as I can, to reach out in real life for help. Suicidal thinking is nothing to mess around with. If you're not currently seeing a mental health professional of one sort or another (a therapist, a psychologist, etc.) please do so if you can. If you are seeing someone be sure you're being straight with them regarding how you're feeling. Or, in the alternative, reach out to a trusted family member, a friend, or someone else in your life you trust. And, in the meantime, keep posting here on PC as well. It can help too. I wish you well...
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