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Old 01-29-2019, 01:34 PM #1
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Trig A piece of the story

I remember watching my mom cry a lot. She never saw me standing there in the hallway, watching her face in her hands at the counter, a shot of whatever she'd decided to consume that night. I remember before that, hearing so much yelling and screaming. I remember hearing the banging on the counters, walls and the stove. I remember hearing my drunk dad say some of the worst things you can say to a person, let alone your wife and mother of your kids.

My grandmas on both sides had passed away. They'd lost their moms. And it didn't bring them together. It broke what they had left into pieces. I remember my mom taking that shot, then pouring another. My dad had taken off, so he wasn't there to comfort her. I wanted to help but knew I'd get an *** kicking for seeing her vulnerable. My mom is a strong woman, she doesn't allow people to see her that way. She's too proud.

Eventually, I'd go to bed. I'd hear her go to bed, cry some more and then it'd be silent. Sometimes I'd hear my dad come home. Most nights I wouldn't see him until after he got out of work the next day. He'd already smell like a brewery by the time he came home. And by the time he came home, mom was already drunk. They'd laugh for an hour. Then I'd have to go to my room before my dad started throwing things and my mom started screaming.

Just thought I'd share that. How it's effected me and what happened on worst nights will have to wait for another time. This was just the average. It wasn't that bad. Just sucked.

Peace.
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Old 01-30-2019, 04:19 AM #2
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Default Re: A piece of the story

You deserved much better than that, S leigheas. You deserved to be loved and to be happy. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Please don't give up, my friend. You have every right to lead a normal and happy life. Just take it one step at the time. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Take baby steps. Remember that we're always here for you if you need it. We all love you here. I know it's not the same thing as having a support system IRL, but at least it's something. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm also here for you, my friend. I'll listen to you and won't judge you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 02-02-2019, 12:14 PM #3
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Default Re: A piece of the story

Sounds pretty bad to me, Soeigh's. (Sorry about your name, my computer decided to "correct" the spelling). Many many hugs. And DO keep trying to find your own, better way. I know you struggle hard. I've seen a lot of what you've written.
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Old 02-03-2019, 11:10 AM #4
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Default Re: A piece of the story

So leigheas
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Old 02-03-2019, 01:01 PM #5
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Default Re: A piece of the story

Those are terrible memories. God bless you.
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Old 02-03-2019, 08:03 PM #6
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Old 03-08-2019, 02:40 AM #7
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Default Re: A piece of the story

It's hard when our parents are not emotionally healthy. There is a level that it gets to me that only surfaces in nightmares. On the other level as an adult I see them as adults who were imperfect just like I am, and I want to say to them that I get it - really.

That wish to comfort my parents however unparent-like they behaved was part of my history also.
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Old 03-08-2019, 09:23 PM #8
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Old 03-09-2019, 01:23 PM #9
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Default Re: A piece of the story

I grew up in a huge family and someone was always fighting. not always from alcohol, but from behaviors unacceptable to one another. I did feel helpless a lot and scared if someone would hurt me good luck
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