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Old 10-24-2018, 12:19 PM   #1
emgreen
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I know this might not be the place to write this, but I'm a recovering alcoholic (15 years). My father was an ACoA. When I was young I saw my grandfather falling down drunk & promised myself I'd never wind up like that. Well, I did. When my kids were small, they saw me in as bad a shape as my grandfather. While they have accepted my amends, I can only imagine that the sight of me drunk off my arse is etched in their memories. I'll take that guilt to the grave with me. While I know your stories are different, for what it's worth, I can empathize with you. Being an ACoA himself, I can see now how much my grandfather's drinking affected my father in his adulthood. To all ACoA, I apologize for the fact that you had to go through what you did. While many/all of you can't forget, I hope you will be able to find peace.
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Old 10-25-2018, 11:21 PM   #2
Bill3
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(((((emgreen)))))

Thank you very much for your kind words.

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Old 10-26-2018, 06:26 AM   #3
MickeyCheeky
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Be proud of yourself, emgreen. Yes, you did mistakes, but you're trying your best to amend them. I'm really happy for you ((((emgreen))))
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Old 11-03-2018, 07:15 PM   #4
WinterWolf
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My father was an alcoholic - and his father was an alcoholic - and his father's father was likely an alcoholic- and who knows how far back that goes? Generations. I've seen my father ********* more times than I can remember (when he was actually home). It probably negatively affected me... but it didn't stop me from doing the exact same thing to my son - never touched a hair on his head - as a consequence, but all the same; luckily he was far too young to remember it. It took a lot of agony to come to grips with the drinking - like most people that have a problem with the drink - you have to hit rock bottom first - and some people don't learn from their mistakes the first time. Lost my family - but that didn't stop me for long - any excuse to drink right? So back on the wagon I went. Then met my current gf while I was going through a pretty steady binge - 12 pack of beer every day? And, one day I snapped - her son did something to jerk my chain, and I lost it. Also, thank God didn't touch him - but I was white with rage and this 4 year old who is just learning between what's right and wrong - bore the brunt of it. My gf was in the other room when it happened and by that point I don't remember exactly what was said - but the next morning when I came too - there was the ultimatum. Either quit drinking - or get the hell out. So faced with losing my family a second time; I quit... and it's been 8 months since I last drank - it was a struggle for sure - and who knows what tomorrow will bring - but I've stuck to my guns and have no intention of ever touching a drop again... have to concentrate my mental energies in healthier ways. Anywho! Back to where I was getting at - Guilt... You're just a man - good god, with the exception of about as many people as there are fingers on your hands, nobody on this earth has not done something which hasn't negatively affected somebody else! You quit drinking. You corrected the behavior and you haven't gone back... you know what the means? You're a pretty awesome guy. You've shown your children that you love them everyday by the very act of not going back to the old behavior. Your children forgive you. 15 years is a very long time to bear that much pain. You need to forgive yourself.
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“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.” -Frederick Douglass

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