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Old 05-09-2018, 10:37 AM   #1
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Default alcoholic mother

Hi everyone, i am new here and one reason for being here is my alcoholic mother. She has been an alcoholic for 16 years, gave up for 6 and then 3 years ago she relapsed and this time its worse. The denial she is in is much worse than before and her relapse has brought up hard childhood memories and realisations for me and my siblings. My main problem is with guilt because even though my mum is extremely nasty to us all, selfish and cruel, I cannot seem to cut contact and feel guilty that I can't help her. just looking for advice and people in a similar situation, thanks.
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Old 05-10-2018, 01:27 PM   #2
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I would start by going to Al-anon and ACOA meetings if possible. That would be some help.

Realize that the only person that could change your mother is herself. It's not your fault that she is the way she is.
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Old 05-14-2018, 03:24 AM   #3
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Yes. it is not your fault.
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Old 05-20-2018, 12:37 PM   #4
lily from paris
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Default Re: alcoholic mother

Hello my situation is close to yours
She is an alcoholic since a long time but doesn't think it is a problem and i can't do much about it
She is not really nasty with me but only think about herself i am just here as her personal assistant for things she doesn't deal with (administrative stuff for example)
the worst thing is that we are leaving together for now but i feel bad because i am just waiting for her to retire and leave to her country of origins (at least for a few month)
I can't help myself but to stress other things i can't control (if she falls, ....) because i will be the one dealing with the consequence and helping her
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Old 06-22-2018, 12:24 PM   #5
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Hi Lily
I can relate to some of what you're saying. My mum is 80 and still drinking more than a bottle of wine a day. She says it's not a problem as it's only wine. It's difficult, isn't it, helping someone out whilst feeling negative about them? My mum had a fall recently and broke her hip. The hospital seemed to suspect that she had been drinking but she denied it. I find it so irritating because when she does hurt herself, I know it's drink related but my father denies it. I'll be the one going on hospital visits and bringing her stuff, looking after my dad while she is away etc.
I find it so difficult that it just never ends - she sees absolutely no problem in the amount she drinks. I feel instantly angry when she rings up and I can tell she has been drinking. Currently, for the first time in my memory, she is off alcohol for a few weeks, only because her doctors say she cannot have it because she is on medication after her hip repair. She is talking about the wine she will have when she comes off the medication, though, and I am feeling so low just thinking about her going back to normal.
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