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Old 08-17-2017, 03:29 AM   #1
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Default Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

Due to growing up with an alcoholic mother, I had to whitness quite often drunks and drunk behaviour, and I always hated drunk people from the beginning on. When you are 8 or 9 years old, you can not really express why you feel uncomfortable in such a situation, but I do remember feeling uncomfortable all the time. When I got older, as soon as I noticed some of her "friends" coming to our house to party I went somewhere, or locked myself in my room.

Even today, I avoid most social events with alcohol. I don't like going to a pub, or festivals, and basically isolate myself socially.

Alcoholic parents can affect your life in so many bad ways, even decades later :-(
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Old 09-02-2017, 10:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

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...Alcoholic parents can affect your life in so many bad ways, even decades later :-(
I have a particular trigger, the sour stale smell of barroom air, the kind of dark low place with a wooden floor which has soaked up decades of spilled drinks. It reliably tightens me up & brings me down in nothing flat.

I haven't spent much time in places like that. My memory comes from one particular specific warm Spring day, forty years ago or more, smelling the fresh breeze coming in the door change as it passed over the sleeping form of a close relative.
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Old 09-04-2017, 09:47 PM   #3
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

One time I went to pick up my daughter at her friend's house. When I walked in there were several mothers there having cocktails. I felt such revulsion as that scene brought back the countless nights with cocktails that my mother took part in.

Quote:
When you are 8 or 9 years old, you can not really express why you feel uncomfortable in such a situation, but I do remember feeling uncomfortable all the time. When I got older, as soon as I noticed some of her "friends" coming to our house to party I went somewhere, or locked myself in my room.
I always went to my room when the drinking started. I spent a lot of time in my room.

I would get terrified when drunken arguing began. It sometimes happened that my parents would burst into my room and demand that I (a small child) take sides on whatever issue was the current topic of drunken shouting. This bursting in did not happen very often (I think), but every time there was an argument I was terrified of it nonetheless.
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Old 09-05-2017, 03:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

It used to not bother me, but now it does a lot. My friends like to drink and get rowdy, but it's just uncomfortable for me.
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Old 09-05-2017, 05:10 PM   #5
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

Almost my whole family from my mother on down are alcoholics. I hate being around them and I don't enjoy being around drunk people in general.
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Old 09-06-2017, 07:30 PM   #6
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

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One time I went to pick up my daughter at her friend's house. When I walked in there were several mothers there having cocktails. I felt such revulsion as that scene brought back the countless nights with cocktails that my mother took part in.
I think I know exactly what you mean. Just reading this gave me goosebumps. That's the really scary part. How natural and "normal" it is to see all those mothers sitting there, knocking down glass after glass of wine or cocktails for hours while the kids play, and then end up being completely hammered at the end. What a "fun" playdate, multiple times per week. I know so many couples with kids in my circle of acquaintances who drink every day, or almost every day. Who have "just a couple of drinks" when going out for dinner, where a couple ends up being at least 5 or 6.

Sometimes I think I'm the only one who thinks seeing a drunk mother with a kid is not acceptable.

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I would get terrified when drunken arguing began. It sometimes happened that my parents would burst into my room and demand that I (a small child) take sides on whatever issue was the current topic of drunken shouting. This bursting in did not happen very often (I think), but every time there was an argument I was terrified of it nonetheless.
Since I grew up with an single mother, I was the one she was arguing with all the time. It didn't matter what it was about, she was arguing with me why I don't help her more in the household when I just brought out the trash. Everytime we got someone visiting she was busy talking and arguing with them, I was forgotten, and could escape to my room. I've spend probably more than half of my childhood there.
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Old 10-19-2017, 09:41 PM   #7
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Trig Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

I haven't had it as bad but both of my parents were alcoholics. They would drink every evening and whenever they sat together near the table, they'd talk and sometimes it'd end up in her arguing even violence. I sometimes wished I grew up with "normal" parents who wouldn't use drink as a way to relax all the time. The alcohol would change their personality but without alcohol, their personality would be calm and not one that is fake. Alcohol makes my mum more likely to be violent towards me and my dad.
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Old 10-21-2017, 03:08 PM   #8
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Heart Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

I am more comfortable in a room with strangers drinking than I am with being near my family while they are drinking. Things get out of hand with my family.
I avoid, more and more, family events centered around drinking. It's all very triggering.

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Old 11-16-2017, 02:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

My father still drinks but not as much as he used to. He used to beat up my mother (once he beat up my sister) and yell all the time. I hate all things about alcoholics, and my mother is the same way.

My sister drinks just to say to her friends, "I'm so drunk". She is basically a bum and asks my parents for money every two days. She also does mushrooms, LSD, and cocaine and smokes pot. I hate when she uses her pathetic drunk voice when she's hungover. I hate the way she lives. I hate her entitlement complex and the way she only thinks about herself. She has no depth perception into her actions. She never thinks that she has a problem. And she has no self-perspective. She is basically clueless when it comes to how others might perceive her. I don't know if I really even love her because of all that she has done to herself and my parents since she went off to college. She defines herself on the fact that she is either high or drunk. (Edited because I want to say that I love her dearly after thinking about that statement. I just wish she would change.)

During high school, I basically isolated myself because I never wanted to be around that crap. I'm 25 and have never been drunk. The only time that I've had something was at Thanksgiving four years ago where I had some wine. I'm proud of that. I don't like what people sound like when they are hungover. They sound pathetic. Just the tone of their voice.

Last edited by ikigai_sp1; 11-16-2017 at 05:16 PM.. Reason: because I was too harsh
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Old 11-21-2017, 10:02 AM   #10
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Trig Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people,Trigger

Both my parents drank as far back as I can remember. My father drank up until the day he died. Both my parents died several years ago. Most of my siblings drink, and my Husband did for several years, but he hasn't for about one and a half years now, but my oldest brother lives with us, and drinks every day. I always felt very uncomfortable and afraid when I am around any of my family when they drink. My brother creeps me out, and I don't like to be around him. But if we make him move, we know we would find him dead, and we couldn't deal with the guilt we would feel from that. So my Husband, and I try to handle him as best that we can.
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