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Old 11-30-2017, 01:06 PM   #11
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

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Originally Posted by BlackMirror15 View Post
Due to growing up with an alcoholic mother, I had to whitness quite often drunks and drunk behaviour, and I always hated drunk people from the beginning on. When you are 8 or 9 years old, you can not really express why you feel uncomfortable in such a situation, but I do remember feeling uncomfortable all the time. When I got older, as soon as I noticed some of her "friends" coming to our house to party I went somewhere, or locked myself in my room.

Even today, I avoid most social events with alcohol. I don't like going to a pub, or festivals, and basically isolate myself socially.

Alcoholic parents can affect your life in so many bad ways, even decades later :-(
I feel the same way. Last year I had an Aunt pass away, the two step cousins threw the wake at her house & it was sandwiches (yuck) and all alcohol. I mean that there wasn't one drop of coffee, tea nothing. In fact when the male cousin went to the store guess what he bought? 12 case of beer. I'm a former drinker. But I believe it's toxic to drink around kids. I seen it too as a youngster. It confused me. Step father, Mothers boyfriend, Aunt. The two step cousins that I grew up with? And who threw the wake seem to be full blown alcoholics. It's best just to stay to yourself you'll find some friends who aren't into the alcohol. It may take time but the teetotalers are out there.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:15 AM   #12
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Trig Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

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I have a particular trigger, the sour stale smell of barroom air, the kind of dark low place with a wooden floor which has soaked up decades of spilled drinks. It reliably tightens me up & brings me down in nothing flat.

I haven't spent much time in places like that. My memory comes from one particular specific warm Spring day, forty years ago or more, smelling the fresh breeze coming in the door change as it passed over the sleeping form of a close relative.
One of my triggers with people drinking, is the smell of there breath. Also when my husband drank, he would become very mean, and call me every name in the book, and verbal would say I did things that I didn't, and bring up things from the past, and how I was the blame for everything that happened to us, even going as far as saying I cheated on him, witch I never did. When he drank, I would lock myself in our bedroom, but he would still pound on the door, and verbal abuse me through the door. Once I herd him cooking himself something to eat, I knew he would calm down. And I never got a apology, even the next day. Now he don't drink much, but when he does, I keep control of the bottle, and I try to only let him have a certain amount, so he won't become that demon. But the smell the next morning nauseates me.
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Old 12-06-2017, 10:52 PM   #13
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I don't like being around drunks either. My husband likes to go to pub quizzes. I like the couple he goes with, but I HATE being in bars. It makes me really anxious.
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Old 01-28-2018, 07:49 PM   #14
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

THANK YOU for this thread! My Dad was alcoholic. Now, I am an elder, and I still feel very uncomfortable and triggered around family dinners that include alcohol, whether or not anyone gets 'drunk'. My sister gets louder, and jokey. I feel like we aren't real together anymore. There is a certain special attention given to the drinks, the wine. I feel anxious and unsafe, the child again. I have to work to be present and to enjoy myself at all. Of course, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, and I am not in actual danger. It is such work to be with these people I love so much. I get triggered by the smells of alcohol on the body, on the breath. I recently shared this with my sisters and brother in law, who told me that perhaps I should skip out on some dinners instead of asking for a dinner without alcohol. Because no one else has a problem with it. My sisters came out of our childhood differently than I, the oldest. I felt alone. I might still find the courage to ask for an alcohol-free dinner, but I will definitely skip some dinners now.
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Old 02-12-2018, 10:32 PM   #15
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

I just flat out don't like people who drink even if it is just for fun. I just don't like it. I'm currently in the process of quitting smoking so one would think that I were also a drinker but I've only been drunk a handful of times in my life. That was with my sister when I lived with her, and she completely ruined my life. She hasn't had an excuse to not have a job for a year and all that she does is drink, get high, and abuse our parents. She has even said that she wishes my father would forget his heart medicine and die as soon as possible so that she could have her part of his will. Isn't that disgusting?
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Old 02-16-2018, 11:32 PM   #16
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

My son is in recovery. I thank God every day for him finding happiness in life again. Out of respect to him and his journey, I treat alcohol and drugs as a poison that nearly killed him. My ex had a work party and invited my son to a place where they were all drinking until they fell over. I am capable of having one glass of wine with dinner, but there are people who have the disease of addiction and they are unable to stop. It's okay to stand firm and support addicts and alcoholics to remove your company from people who think drinking is just a game.
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Old 02-17-2018, 09:35 AM   #17
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

I've been thinking about this thread this week. Do the children of alcoholics have more trouble being around alcohol than do actual alcoholics in recovery? Is my trigger response so strong because I was a child who learned that alcohol is unsafe? But then my sisters don't have that same response...
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Old 02-17-2018, 12:21 PM   #18
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Default Re: Hate to be surrounded by drunk people

Hi boomerang, I've heard alcoholism is a family disease. I found it helpful to consider myself as a child of an alcoholic, as if I am in a life of recovery too. I have heard some alcoholics regard removing themselves from a place where there is alcohol, as keeping the odds of their recovery as high as possible. Separately, as a child who has grow up now, I would like my journey to be a healthy human being, to be seen and heard and understood. I don't want someone to toast that I have been through hell.
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