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Unread 11-09-2011, 10:33 AM   #1
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Help Adult Children of Alcoholics-Guilt and Shame

in reading posts in this forum i find many ACOA's experience so much shame and guilt. guilt and shame imposed on their personalities to compensate for their experiences growing up in an alcoholic family. there's so much damage psychologically to the ACOA. it helps i think to identify the distorted ideas/feelings and how one obtains them in their daily living. the ACOA imho is not the guilty one. they are the survivors. i hope this article may be useful. knowing the origin of behaviors may be helpful in healing
It has long been clear to me that being an ACoA needs aggressive and long term treatment. Ignoring the damage only allows it to leak out in intimate relationships in ways that make them hard to live in and to manifest in the next generation. That's because growing up with addiction is traumatizing and the symptoms of trauma can emerge much later when we create our own families. This is what PTSD is all about, it's a reaction to trauma that occurs long after the fact.
..Survival guilt and Shame For the person growing up in an addicted environment, shame becomes not so much a feeling that is experienced in relation to an incident or situation, but rather a basic attitude toward and about the self. Both shame and guilt can be difficult to identify because they are so pervasive, a part of the very fabric of the personality. Shame, for example, can be experienced as a lack of energy for life, an inability to accept love and caring on a consistent basis, or a hesitancy to move into self -affirming roles. It may play out as impulsive decision-making, or an inability to make decisions at all...
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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