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Old 11-02-2018, 02:13 AM   #11
beauflow
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Default Re: Sober from alcohol & past traumas resurface

Hugs... ShovelHead.
Go you, seriously!

I am sorry if this is long and unwanted but..
Me...I used to love coke, while in reality I used to grab anything-- coke held a special place in my heart, as it made me numb and a different self could come out and play.. I didn't care I was "messed up", I embraced some of it even.. though my journey may differ from others.

Coke was one substance that for me, I was addicted to.
haven't done coke since April 2008 ... I still get cravings ... and it took a few slips before the last time...

I often times In the beginning would ask myself
"Why would I go do it? I have went this much time " some times play the game of "why not to do it" or "what can I do besides that to feel better" which from your posts If understand, you relate.

May not be till months later or even year later, I'd realize how those small moments of triumph meant so much.
They add up.
And also I am a believer that if one slips, they can always try again ((cigs are my struggle these days ... I slip a lot but I find when I beat myself up on it, my "quit tomorrow " is longer than if I forgave myself )).. there's articles on this topic too.. self forgiveness can be a powerful thing.

I sometimes wish I would had gotten professional help earlier, always told it would had made things easier but any help, art, self care... etc is still so valuable. A tool box some call it... things to assist you while you go through your journey.

Many well thoughts...

I wish Leed was here, they helped me ((and many)) with some words of wisdom when I first joined PC... very kind and supportive soul.. their post I would like to share with you as I feel it holds merit - they posted a lot in this section..
Discipline
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Old 11-04-2018, 01:22 AM   #12
shovelhead
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beauflow: thank u for your excellent post, here! I really appreciate it & I'm going to reply to u, another day. Promise. I just wanted to write here that I'm sort of worried. We have to put our dog down at vet's probably tomorrow. He has a tumor on his head and so he's sick and dying. He's had seizures. So, we're hopefully going to take care of this tomorrow. I just looked up info. There's a vet here open on sunday. I'm afraid cuz I've been craving alcohol, that this might push me to drink, again. This will be a test of my sobriety. I'll write more later. Thanks for reading.
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Old 11-04-2018, 10:38 AM   #13
beauflow
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Default Re: Sober from alcohol & past traumas resurface

(((ShovelHead)))

I am so sorry about your furrybabby
Sending many many hugs and supportive vibes.

Animals can bring so much to us humans.
You do what you need to do for you and your dog... I am so sorry though that it's like this though.
I am sorry again ...

Please keep reaching out when you're ready.. take your time with your emotions and self.

I believe you seeing in yourself and the worry, has so much power and in a way is preparing you for what may come.

One of the best pieces of wording I've found with grief is -- grief over lose is love... it's painful but it is love.
Grief is not punishment
And there's no time limit with grief.

Many well thoughts, many strong vibes.
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Old 11-22-2018, 02:50 PM   #14
shovelhead
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HI! I didn't want to post here again/ was avoiding this thread...cuz I wrote about my dog that passed on, here. I took care of our dog and took him to get put down. It went smoothly & easily cuz he was so tired that morning, already. He was just going downhill very quickly, I noticed. I'm still completely sober. I didn't touch a drop. I'm glad our dog went super peacefully. Had a shot and went quickly to sleep. I'll always cherish the comfort & companionship. I do miss him here, with me! If anyone here said a little prayer for me, I want to let u know it really worked! I was so strong, It surprised me. Thank you so much! Everyone that read here, or commented to me about the situation with our dog. The tumor was visible, it was hurting poor boy. Thanks Again, I really believe someone special sent me a prayer, somehow & somewhere! Sober from alcohol & past traumas resurfaceSober from alcohol & past traumas resurfaceSober from alcohol & past traumas resurfaceSober from alcohol & past traumas resurface

Last edited by shovelhead; 11-22-2018 at 03:47 PM..
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