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Old 12-10-2018, 08:45 AM   #441
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Hope things go well, Splits!
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:05 PM   #442
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Next month I have the issue someone else (child?) faced a while back - shoulder surgery and rehab. I think I am going with the Advil and a stick to bite option. I discussed it with my pdoc at a med check the other day. She specializes in mood disorders and substance abuse, which is why I picked her. It was a pretty short discussion. Mostly it's because my memories of use are a little too positive; too easy to slip back into the "if I am careful" mindset. I am still scared of it right now. One thing that shook me up was reading about someone local who took about the same dosage I often took and rank with it, drinking less than I sometimes did, and he died in his sleep.
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Old 12-10-2018, 09:17 PM   #443
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How was it today, splitimage?

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Old 12-10-2018, 09:47 PM   #444
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Next month I have the issue someone else (child?) faced a while back - shoulder surgery and rehab. I think I am going with the Advil and a stick to bite option. I discussed it with my pdoc at a med check the other day. She specializes in mood disorders and substance abuse, which is why I picked her. It was a pretty short discussion. Mostly it's because my memories of use are a little too positive; too easy to slip back into the "if I am careful" mindset. I am still scared of it right now. One thing that shook me up was reading about someone local who took about the same dosage I often took and rank with it, drinking less than I sometimes did, and he died in his sleep.
Yep that was me... I'm just over 30 days now. 36 or 37, somewhere around there. The pain pills started it for me, but I would not have made it early on without them. I needed the pills in the beginning for the pain. I could barely move as it was, I can't imagine without them. Also, the pain affected my mood, and I would have been more suicidal than I was already.

Think about the effects of pain on your mood. Also think if there is anyone who could hold the pain meds and give you only a certain amount at a time.

That is where I messed up... I didn't have someone holding them for me even after I started craving them.
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Old 12-11-2018, 06:27 AM   #445
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Well I survived my first shift yesterday, and it went pretty well I think. I got mostly positive feedback, with the only criticism being that I was slow, which I think is normal for a first day.


They're bringing me in again today for a second shift, so I'm taking that as a positive sign.


And I didn't have any desire to drink after work.


But I was exhausted by the end of the day.


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Old 12-11-2018, 03:27 PM   #446
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Yep that was me... I'm just over 30 days now. 36 or 37, somewhere around there. The pain pills started it for me, but I would not have made it early on without them. I needed the pills in the beginning for the pain. I could barely move as it was, I can't imagine without them. Also, the pain affected my mood, and I would have been more suicidal than I was already.

Think about the effects of pain on your mood. Also think if there is anyone who could hold the pain meds and give you only a certain amount at a time.

That is where I messed up... I didn't have someone holding them for me even after I started craving them.
I am a stoic. There is some research that says that it's largely genetic, not that I have developed mental toughness. When the doc did my right shoulder, he was surprised at the damage because of the way I held up in the initial exam and the numbers I gave him for "how much pain?". He should have been suspicious of how much pain I said I was in during rehab after the procedure, but I mostly saw an intern working with him for follow ups.

I am more afraid of the craving than I am of the pain. It can override rational thinking. Even if someone is doling it out, I will no longer have the streak of opiate free days; this thought crossed my mind even while I am rational and not in a good way. That really spooked me.
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Old 12-12-2018, 06:47 AM   #447
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UpDownAround,


Good luck with your decision on whether or not to take opiates for pain. I think if someone else was controlling the dosing, I'd be inclined to take them, as I've heard that if you're in pain it can actually slow down the healing process. But I totally hear you on the cravings thing and not wanting to start them.


Survived my second shift, although it didn't go as well as my first day - won't bore you with the details, but I was exhausted by the end of it. They offered me a third shift today, which I think is a good sign, but i had to turn it down, as I didn't think I could handle it physically. And I'm really glad I turned it down, this morning, my feet and legs are still really sore and stiff and my arm is sore. Clearly I've got to work on building up my stamina.


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Old 12-12-2018, 08:32 AM   #448
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3 years 5 months today and 51 days till my 1300 day milestone.
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Old 12-12-2018, 11:04 AM   #449
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UpDownAround,


Good luck with your decision on whether or not to take opiates for pain. I think if someone else was controlling the dosing, I'd be inclined to take them, as I've heard that if you're in pain it can actually slow down the healing process. But I totally hear you on the cravings thing and not wanting to start them.
Thanks. My big concern is poor judgement when I have it for a few days and then stop. I know I am better off sober because I don't exercise enough control and never will. Being drunk and/or high was a feeling that I enjoyed and that I would enjoy if I were to take enough pain killers to actually numb pain. The memory of it doesn't have nearly as much potential to cause craving as the experience of it would.
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Old 12-14-2018, 12:35 PM   #450
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Really wanting to go to the bar and have a few drinks today, but I won't as I know that would set me off on another bad spiral down.


Booked an appointment to get my hair cut tomorrow. So I need my money for that, so I can't spend it on booze.


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As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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