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Old 08-07-2018, 08:00 AM   #211
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Made it through yesterday without drinking although it was really hard. I so wanted to go out to a bar, but I resisted. Fortunately I got to talk to my cousin who's in recovery, and she's offered to talk to me later about how she dealt with shame and guilt and self forgiveness. She says it's an area she did a lot of work on, and she's a peer councilor so she's used to helping people so that will be helpful.


Didn't manage to apply to the job yesterday or get any knitting done, too weepy. May try to apply to the job today.


Go back to IOP tomorrow. Hope to have my emotions more under control by then. Today's challenge is once again staying sober.


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Old 08-08-2018, 06:26 AM   #212
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Well I screwed up and drank again yesterday, so it's day 1 again. Can't go to IOP, because you have to be 24 hours sober, but I'll still go see my T, go to acupuncture, which I badly need, and then Divine Diva's, and then I'm meeting a friend, who doesn't drink when she's with me, so today will be safe.


I'm just still really sad.


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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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Old 08-09-2018, 06:08 AM   #213
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I hope you had a better day, Splits.
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Old 08-09-2018, 06:44 AM   #214
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Thanks UpDownAround,


I did have a better day yesterday.



I at least talked with one of my councilors at IOP. Then I went down to the hospital for my appointment with my T. That was the bad part, she'd called in sick and no one thought to call me, so I sat around waiting for half an hour until someone found me, and told me she was sick. But it wasn't a total waste. I went for acupuncture, much needed, and it was really good. Totally took my cravings away. And then I went to Divine Diva's. The content was really interesting, but I'm not sure about the other participants - it's a low barrier to entry group, and a lot of the women were definitely functioning at a lower level than I am. I'll go to a couple more sessions to see how it is.


Then I went out for dinner with my friend and had fettuccine Alfredo - definitely not on my diet, but it was so yummy. And no urges to drink.



Today it's back to IOP, and then on to an appointment to see my pdoc. That'll be good. It's been about 7 weeks since I've seen him, so I'm overdue for an appointment.


So day 2 today, and I'm feeling pretty confident I can make it through the day without drinking.


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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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Old 08-10-2018, 06:38 AM   #215
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Had a good day yesterday.


Went to IOP and it was good. Checked with the counselor as to how many days I have left, as I'd lost count, and I only have 2 days left, so my last day is Mon. I'm kind of relieved about that, but sad to be finishing at the same time.


Then went down to my appointment, and told him about my implosion and relapse, and he actually said I handled it pretty well. That it wasn't a surprise I relapsed with everything going on, but at least I limited the damage and pulled out of it within a week, so from his perspective it was a success. (?) That did make me feel better.



Today's day 3 and still no desire to drink. I'm going back in for acupuncture again, after IOP.


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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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Old 08-11-2018, 01:27 AM   #216
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I find it weird how a lot of people have a machine that they use when they wake up in the morning to extract alkaloids from coffee beans to put into their bloodstream before they go to work.

There's also "coffee breaks" by law.

Imagine if someone was like "Hey, I gotta go take a cocaine break, do you mind?".
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Old 08-11-2018, 05:59 AM   #217
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Desoxyn, That would be weird, but I'm pretty sure that people use "coffee breaks" for plenty of things other than coffee.


Well didn't make it down to IOP yesterday. I was having GI problems in the morning, and taking an immodium didn't help, so I had to stay home. So I'll finish IOP on Wed.



But I used the time at home productively. I got in touch with The Yellow Door which is another social services agency that offers services to people with addiction or mental health issues. And I figured out how I can get three double recovery meetings in a week. And I also figured out for now, what other groups I'm going to do, and when I'm going to go for accupuncture, so I have a tentative schedule, which makes me feel better, and makes it much more likely that I'll stay sober.


Looking forward to getting some much needed cleaning done this weekend.


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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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Old 08-11-2018, 10:59 AM   #218
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I did a header on wednesday from heat exhaustion....gave myself a concussion.

i am 93 days away from 40 months away milestone....what it says on my sober app...and tomorrow is 3 years 1 month...
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Old 08-11-2018, 11:22 AM   #219
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congrats greentree!
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Split, is your accupuncture covered under insurance? Is it expensive, I am considering trying it out.
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Old 08-11-2018, 06:02 PM   #220
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Greentires, yikes on the concussion - hope you're ok. It's been so crazy hot everywhere this year. And congratulations on your anniversary tomorrow.


Bizi - insurance in Canada works very differently from the US. We have public insurance for most things medical. Accupuncture is not normally covered by public health insurance, but this clinic is provincially funded as part of an addictions reduction strategy initiative, so it is covered.



Some people who have supplemental insurance through their jobs,have coverage for acupuncture, but it's usually limited to around 500 / year.


Best thing to do is check with your insurance company.


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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

"If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba

As some of you may know, my blog is currently off-line due to some problems at my previous site host. I'm working with my web master to rebuild and get back on-line.
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