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Old 01-05-2019, 07:37 AM   #491
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I did not drink at my parents house as I had said that I would not but wanted to. Then when we went to my mother in laws house....sigh
It went well but I drank a lot of alcohol.
I was super stressed, slept in late every day.
Got up at 7;30 this morning with the alarm. Did not sleep well at all.
very tired this morning.
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Old 01-11-2019, 11:41 PM   #492
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I completely over ate tonight while at trivia. and then also at home.
I am miserable. I also over drank at trivia too.

My heart rate was 136 resting.

Jeff said he could hear my heart rate while we were watching LOST.
(we have started watching the series again! yeah!)

sigh
I am a mess.
How am I going to be able to sleep tonight?????


I am having a hot flash this is not helping me at all.
I better go try to drink some ice water and cool off.

Jeff is in bed already.
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Old 01-12-2019, 07:11 AM   #493
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Bizi,


I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I hope you managed to sleep. I know it's hard, but I believe in you. You can get back to being AF.


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Old 01-12-2019, 11:33 AM   #494
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Thank you for your support.
yes one of these days I will get back on that horse.
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Old 01-13-2019, 11:31 AM   #495
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Thank you all!
I slept great last night until 11am this morning.
What woke me was the smell of the cinnimum friendship
bread jeff was baking for our neighbors and us too.
My resting heart rate this morning is 80 bpm which is fine and normal.
IT was art walk last night so I ate snackies and drank free wine.
did not drink too much went to bed at 1am.
So got 10 hours of sleep which I needed.
Jeff is wanting to go to breakfast at the diner so I better get ready.
One cup of coffee down!
Have a great day!
It is going to be chores day.
Both christmas trees, laundry.
Recharging my freon in my cars air conditioning,
Have to watch you tube video about how to do that.
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Old 01-14-2019, 12:25 AM   #496
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I have sobered up enough to see some perspective.
I forgot my meds at noon, did this once while out of town too, ran out of meds.
Drank too much today making chili and taking down the christmas decorations.
Looking back over the past 6 months I have been running pretty high.
When I start ordering things off face book I am not well.
I spent about $600 for these facial treatments to take some of the red out of my face and maybe lessen my spider veins too. I have two treatments left and one tomorrow and then another one in a month.

My friend karen...if I can call her that....was a fad. It was wrong of me to talk about her on the buzz forum. I apologized but she has stopped coming to sandras for lunch. I gave her a gift certificate for christmas, stuck it into her mail box...no response. I am afraid to call her, hate rejection.
I was only trying to get information for her, I was trying to help, but it back fired.
Think I am ready to stop drinking and start dieting again.
I need to take better care of myself.
I took my meds tonight and supplements, applied face cream to my forehead, have a pimple on the tip of my nose.
I won't wear make up.

Jeff just got home from picking up a friend at the airport.
I need to get to bed.
0730am will come soon enough.
I am not tired which is not a good sign.
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Old 01-15-2019, 08:48 PM   #497
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Thank you for your support!
Had lunch with 2 of my lunch bunch friends. Which is always great to see them.
I told them of my Karen stories and they both told me to not deal with her any more. She has too many issues. I am kind of sad about it...I tried to help her and she did not want my help. She stopped going to sandras cafe for lunch so that is sad, and I had been eating lunch with her for a couple of months. I gave her a gift certificate to sandras for christmas and never heard from her. I won't call her like my friends told me. If she goes to sandras again I might say hi....Rejection is hard to take. I also hate confrontation. Bizi's thread:
Maybe I will never see her again....I don't know.

anyway today is day 2 AF.
I weighed 184 last night. 14 pounds heavier than before our vacation. Drinking fattening beers really bloated me. Bizi's thread: I think the scale will reflect that in this next week.
Had a slice of jeffs cinnamon bread/cake for breakfast with 2 cups of coffee.
Ate beef moussaka for lunch with a cup of turkish coffee.
Before dinner I had a slice of sharp cheddar cheese. For dinner Jeff cooked pork chops in coconut oil. and steamed broccoli.
After dinner, I snacked on 1/2 cup of mint chip gelato and one diet fudge pop and a handful of almonds. I drank sparkling water sweetened with toffee stevia.
I had a lot to eat today but did not drink any alcohol.
Hope I don't substitute food for alcohol. I really want to lose this weight and the only way that will happen is by eating less and moving more...so I will start going to the gym again and walking on the tred mill. I will go tomorrow. Bizi's thread:

I really need to take a shower tonight as I can't seem to get up earlier in the mornings now that I have been seeing 8:30 appointments. I set the alarm for 7:30 and roll out of bed.

Jeff is gone playing trivia with a friend and I was going to go to the gym tonight but changed my mind.

Have been reading this good book called the night circus. It is very good.
Jeff and I started watching LOST again. This will be our 4th or 5th time watching the entire series. We love it! It is something that we share doing together. We were watching 2 episodes of seinfeld but it moved to an hour later so that stopped.
So I am very happy we are watching LOST again!!!!!!
Thank you for reading this post.
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Old 01-16-2019, 05:18 AM   #498
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Bizi,


I'm sorry about Sandra. I'll be honest, I thought at the time, that you were becoming over involved with her. I'm sorry she hasn't contacted you to thank you for the gift certificate, but she may not know what to say, so disappearing is easier for her.


Good luck on getting back into an exercise routine at the gym. I suck at exercise so I admire you.


And good luck on getting back into healthier eating.


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Old 01-16-2019, 07:54 AM   #499
bizi
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Red face Re: Bizi's thread:

yes split I was getting overly involved with karen.
I am going to the gym tonight for the first time in a while. It is getting chillier and chillier and they keep the place cold which is a turn off from going but no excuses, tonight I am going!
I have been hypomanic off and on now for months.
pdoc doesn't know what to do with me.
thanks for your reading and posting to me.
((((HUGS))))
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Old 01-16-2019, 12:23 PM   #500
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bizi View Post
yes split I was getting overly involved with karen.
I am going to the gym tonight for the first time in a while. It is getting chillier and chillier and they keep the place cold which is a turn off from going but no excuses, tonight I am going!
I have been hypomanic off and on now for months.
pdoc doesn't know what to do with me.
thanks for your reading and posting to me.
((((HUGS))))
bizi
Hope you are alright?!

Maybe the hypomania on and off is tied to the drinking on and off.
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