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Unread 08-18-2017, 02:24 PM   #1
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Default quitting for good

im in an opiate relapse again. i cant seem to stay away from them. i dont think i will ever be 'ready' to quit for good. it seems impossible to me. im losing faith that i have a positive future and im wondering if i am just driving myself further and further back down the hole as a form of passive suicide


just wanted to share my thoughts. i dont have a lot of people to talk to IRL
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Unread 08-23-2017, 06:58 PM   #2
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im going to try to taper again . it typically doesnt work for me because i just end up taking everything ive got at once. i have enough to last thru friday, maybe. if i taper. if i just ****ing blow it then ill be s.o.l. and sick. i really hate this cycle of drug addiction... i really feel like ill never truly be free from it
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Unread 08-23-2017, 07:07 PM   #3
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Dang! I wish I knew of something that would help, but opioids weren't my drug of choice. I've heard they're especially difficult to wean off of & stay off of. Of course, you already know rehab/detox are possibilities, but I don't know your insurance situation. N.A. would be another possibility, but I know folks have mixed feelings about that, too. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that we're reading along & are hoping things get easier for you. That's not much, but it's all I have to offer. Keep writing & hang in there.
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Unread 08-25-2017, 12:45 PM   #4
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Default Re: quitting for good

I danced with that partner a few times but I was careful. I would get pain pills for my back, knee or shoulder (legit sources of pain, but I could deal with just OTC stuff) or tussinex for a drip cough (wasn't really that bad) and then I would use it up much quicker than specified. When I finished the last dose, I would be racking my brain about how to get more; if I knew my neighbor had some I might slip into his house and steal it. Just a few cycles of getting high on it and you want it that bad. I only took it when I was depressed; if I was hypomanic I would probably have sought it out illegally.
I don't have any specific advice. Just a little bit of understanding of how strong the pull is. if you aren't strong enough, you need to find people to help you resist.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 11:48 AM   #5
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Default Re: quitting for good

Replying to your last post on roll call sz,

- I posted this in your addiction thread instead of roll call sz cuz the mods probably wont approve there and they like me to put triggers here too because what I talk about is too much idk. Roll call also moves too fast so you probably wont see the post not that my post even matters I'm just a person but because I've dealt with addiction of at least stimulants bringing me to my knees I'd like to help a little because it wont make it worse at least so it's worth helping someone out especially if they're apart of that roll call community we have there.

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