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Unread 09-13-2017, 05:21 AM   #631
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Congratulations Greentires4me - 2 years, 2 months is awesome.

Well I survived yesterday without drinking. But was fighting the urge to order a bottle all day. Was sick most of the day, but finally managed solid food around dinner time.

Going to a group at my rehab today which will be good.

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Unread 09-13-2017, 09:16 AM   #632
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Congrats Greentires4me.

Enjoy...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4xg6WeB8_A
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Unread 09-13-2017, 03:29 PM   #633
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Didn't make it to the group at rehab today. Was crying too hard. I've been bawling my head off all day - only mananged to stop barely to go out to the pharmacy to pick up my meds.

Called my addictions Dr. today and asked if I could redo the IOP program - I feel like I need some structured, stable support to build up some sober time again. I see her next on Mon.

Also called my compounding pharmacy, found out I had an order on file for Antabuse, and so ordered it. Will hopefully have it by the weekend.

I'm just so sad.

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Unread 09-13-2017, 05:06 PM   #634
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I'm sorry you're feeling so down, splitimage. I hate when I get into those crying spells. It sounds, however, like you're making plans to get out & "grab the bull by the horns." I hope you feel better soon...alcohol is a depressant, so don't push the panic button yet that this feeling will continue. Just remember how good sobriety can feel...You've been there!
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Unread 09-13-2017, 10:18 PM   #635
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splits,
I don't bawl, just the glistening eyes with one rolling down my cheek every now and then and even that makes me uncomfortable in social/group situations. So I feel for you also.
Good to hear you are so committed.
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Unread 09-14-2017, 05:59 AM   #636
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Thanks Emgreen and UpDownandAround

I had the worst time falling asleep last night. I was physically exhausted from crying all day, and I even took extra clonazapam, which I have my pdoc's ok to do once in a while. But I couldn't shut my racing brain off. Finally did fall asleep but had bizarre dreams all night.

I'm still feeling very weepy today. Hope it won't last all day.

The good news is my Antabuse is already ready at the pharmacy, so I can go pick it up today.

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Please visit my recovery blog: http://www.backfromthesidelines.com
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Unread 09-14-2017, 11:05 AM   #637
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I am titrating back up on wellbutrin and someone reminded me of one reason I stopped taking it some time ago - it amplifies hangovers. It's not antabuse, but a deterrent nonetheless. Many years ago, I got the nasty GI bug giardia and it was treated with flagyl. I found out the hard way that flagyl is chemically very similar to antabuse. The doctor did say something about alcohol, but I ignored it because "they always say that". That was no fun. I would run into the bathroom needing to sit on the toilet but also lean over it. Needless to say, I abstained from that point until several days after the last dose.

Still hanging tough...
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Unread 09-14-2017, 01:37 PM   #638
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It always seems impossible until it's done.
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Unread 09-14-2017, 03:01 PM   #639
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oh UpDownAround, I'm sorry about your Flagyl experience. My addictions Dr. prescribes it to people who can't take Antabuse.

I picked up my prescription, and took a pill as soon as I got home. I'm going to take it every morning with my psych meds from now on.

It feels both sad and good to have taken drinking off the table as an option, while I build up some more sober coping skills, and lifestyle.

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"I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favorite hymn.

Please visit my recovery blog: http://www.backfromthesidelines.com
You can now subscribe to my blog and get automatic updates whenever I write a new post - approximately once a week. Just go to the site, and enter your email address, in the box on the bottom right hand side of the main page.
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Unread 09-14-2017, 11:02 PM   #640
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I'm going to see if IOP is covered by insurance, keeping me from smoking pot would be worth it on its own as it is the biggest catalyst I have for using more drugs.
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