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Old 08-22-2017, 01:39 PM   #531
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Originally Posted by UpDownAround View Post
Blacked out the sun...
...but didn't have to black out my memory! Me, too!
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Old 08-23-2017, 07:14 PM   #532
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I'm a slave to Tina
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Old 08-24-2017, 06:29 AM   #533
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Made it through the first week - day 9 for me.

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Old 08-24-2017, 07:04 AM   #534
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Good job splitimage! It sounds like it was a rough week.

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Old 08-24-2017, 08:53 AM   #535
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I'm glad you got through it, splitimage. You & I both know it gets a bit easier the longer one doesn't drink. You'll be back there soon.
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Old 08-24-2017, 09:41 AM   #536
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I feel sick because I can't sleep and I think I'm having mini seizures and I feel so depressed it feels like my heart isn't beating properly.

I don't think I'm going to take anymore.

I'm horribly horribly depressed so I'm going to take my antidepressant like my psychologist told me to.

The depression is so bad that I don't think I can handle work.

I was crying yesterday over life but I don't think I've ever felt this miserable in my life.
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Old 08-24-2017, 10:20 AM   #537
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"SSRI antidepressants are “not only inefficacious for the treatment of methamphetamine dependence, but also produce a number of unprecedented side effects and have no effect on the secondary depression experienced during methamphetamine withdrawal.” However, several studies have shown that Wellbutrin, an antidepressant that acts as a norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitor, can decrease cravings and may aid in creating chemical equilibrium in the brain."

I'll start taking my Wellbutrin today because I wasn't taking it.
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Old 08-24-2017, 11:58 AM   #538
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One more day until I make it 2 months.

Last night I was talking to a couple of others after a DBSA meeting (not a substance use meeting, but a bunch of us are in recovery) and I realized something about my history that I never really connected the dots on before. I don't give in to impulses and urges; all my prior "relapses" were decisions that I could handle it again and didn't like the stigma of being in recovery. This came up when we were talking about different meetings and I mentioned that I try to get to one each week but it isn't that big of a deal if I miss it sometimes. The decision was made and I am sticking to it.
When I have decided to start back, it has never been a spur of the moment decision followed by immediate drinking. It is usually an upcoming business or social event where it will potentially be awkward not to drink that leads me to decide it will be okay to nurse a beer or glass of wine so as not to stand out by declining when it is with people who know I accepted it in the past. The pattern is that I do that, pass the initial test with flying colors and slowly accelerate back into problem territory.
This is a double edged sword. It means I usually have time to correct my thinking but it also means I have always been blinded by the illusion of control.
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Old 08-24-2017, 03:25 PM   #539
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UpDownAround -- One more day until I make it 2 months.
Hooray! High 5.

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...blinded by the illusion of control.
That kind of boils it down to its essence. Alcohol's waiting for me out in the parking lot, doing push-ups. I've got to keep my eyes open.
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Old 08-24-2017, 03:30 PM   #540
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Desoxyn, I'm sorry you're having a hard time. This forum is for people who have chemical addictions...but not to SSRI's!!! You might find good advice in the depression forum. Good luck.
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