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Old 01-25-2019, 06:09 PM  
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kimberlym has no updates.
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Weaverville, NC, USA
Posts: 17
Default Re: Wondering If I Might be on the Asperger's Spectrum as a Woman

Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend View Post
I think I fall somewhere on the Aspergers side as well. I told 2 doctors this in the past as an adult and they don't see how I could have Aspergers since I appear "normal" enough to them. Thing is though I was diagnosed as a child.

So yeah, I wouldn't count on getting a doctor's help on this matter. If you truly think you have Aspergers, then reading books and learning as much as possible about yourself is what I would recommend. Only you have the knowledge about yourself to know what you are and what you should do. Nobody knows you better than yourself.

Mental health diagnosis shouldn't define you, nor should it matter if you are something that society considers "weird" or "different". You are you and nobody has the right to judge or condemn you for being what you are.
I so thank-you for your feedback @ DarknessIsMyFriend. Thinking I might be a high-functioning autistic person is such a new concept for me. I'm really at the beginning of the whole concept. But I have been reading and watching everything I can to make things clear for me. Things just weren't addressed psychologically by doctors when I was still a child. I was taken every single time there was a physical ailment (and I had a lot of them. Tubes in my ears for chronic ear infections, which has left me with a hearing impairment as an adult. My tonsils were removed when I was 5 years old-ish. Then I had a bladder surgery at a really young age. And my parents agonized over the physical things that were wrong with me), but my mannerisms weren't that strange, not strange enough for parents that are attempting to discover why their child might be acting out. My parents were having marital difficulties of their own and were separated before I was 4 years old, so their focus was skewed also. I know now that some of the mannerisms I did have could have been considered autistic traits now, by researching things in this day and age, but no one ever thought twice about it when I was so young. Things were different when I was young. There were no seat belts. Kids played outside and no one ever had to consider their safety. We didn't live in the immediate circle of our parents' attention. I was always off on my own, playing. No one was standing watch over me.

I haven't really worried about how people or society "define" me. I just feel like I have tried really hard to "blend" in, and I've always wondered why. It was never really a prevalent thought for me until recently, because I started to worry about saying the wrong thing while trying to look for a new job, or when jokes and sarcasm fly over my head, people tend to look at me as if I'm "ditsy", and I know I have said the wrong thing (I get strange looks very often), but given the fact that I received a degree and graduated with honors, just this past year, I know I'm not an idiot. I take things very literally, and it's just often hard to fit into the rest of our society. I tend to isolate myself, and not be among others, unless I absolutely have to. And lately, I have to. I'm searching for a new job, and it has been so tough doing interviews. I feel like I'm "performing" at every one of them, trying to appear more social than what I actually am. Trying to say the right thing. Trying not to say too much. I have a tendency to overthink, and to give people too much information too. I have had to learn to read body language and speech inflections from others, and when it seems like I have made a mistake, I shut down and shut up.
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