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Old 01-24-2019, 08:23 AM  
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Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 758
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Default Re: The discomfort between sessions and emails

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
How do you feel about his saying that he's never been comfortable replying to your emails? I think that would bother me. Out of curiosity, would he be willing to, say, just send a reply saying "Email received"? Or just a blank reply to show he'd read it?
I told him I was uncomfortable with this and asked how Iíll ever know what else heís doing with me thatís uncomfortable. Like, what else is he hiding? I particularly asked if he is or ever will be uncomfortable reading my emails and he leaned forward and pretty convincingly said that will never happen. He said he would even like to reply to my emails sometimes, but doesnít think itís the right thing for me. He said he initially replied even though that was not the norm because he thought Iíd leave therapy without it. He was probably right.

He will not respond to emails other than for scheduling purposes. He was clear about that, but also very kind about it and about understanding my frustration. I do feel hurt by that, but heís pretty clearly there for me otherwise. He reminded me of a story I had told him about when my son was about 4 and he called me as I was driving to work crying and saying ďyou didnít hold my handĒ referring to our ritual where Iíd hold his hand while he walked down the stairs. Never mind that he was asleep when I left the house or that my husband was home with him. He said itís ok to have desires like that as an adult (you didnít reply to my email!) but as we grow up, and certainly as parents, we understand that weíre still there for our kids and still hold them in our minds even when we are not physically there. Not sure if Iím explaining it well, but it sort of made sense to me at the time. Obviously part of me would still like a reply!
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