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Old 01-12-2019, 05:54 AM  
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Default Re: Adderall and treatment resistant Depression

Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
I would be cautious about adderall. I have been taking it for 13 years. I am completely addicted. I am utterly useless if I don't take it - I can't stay awake. My body no longer produces its natural stimulants to wake me up and keep me awake. The last time I had to go without adderall for more than a couple days was prior to a sleep study. They wanted me to stop taking it 2 weeks prior, but that was impossible, as I knew I would be nonfunctional and would have to take off work for the duration. We compromised on one week. I broke after 4 days because the withdrawal was so severe that I wanted to kill myself. I took part of my usual dosage, then continued to abstain for the rest of the time period.
i think its important to mention the difference between addiction and dependence. Addiction involves obsession about the substance, the need to take more and more of it even against guidelines, scheming to get it and having it make your life unmanageable. I believe dependence means you need the substance to raise your abnormal or..or non-Neurotypical behavior into the "normal" range enabling you to live your life with your best possible self leading the way. I am equally dependent on my bipolar meds as I am on my adderall. I have been on adderall for 13 years- never abused it and no problem stopping it when Ive had to ( pregancy, surgeries, forgetting to get a new script in time).

Does adderall help with depression? Yes. But that doesn't mean it's a good treatment. For some people, eating a whole chocolate cake helps their depression. But you wouldn't say that's a good thing. The problem I had with adderall was how much better it made me feel. It made life so much more bearable. Getting up in the morning didn't feel like a burden. Completing tasks felt enjoyable and satisfying. If I'm honest, I don't think it was quite a natural feeling. And that's the difference between the results from other depression treatments and adderall. Your mood on adderall does not reflect restored balance. You do not act how you would if you weren't depressed. You act uniquely as you would when taking adderall. And it's very hard to resist taking it every day.
This may be your experience but would you say the same thing about antidepressants or other mental health meds? If you have adhd and another disorder(I do) or its treatment resistant depression, what is wrong with not feeling dread getting up in the morning. I very much think that adderall restores balance. You have some sort of deficit to be on it and it is meant to correct that and level the playing field. If you abuse it for euphoria or as a performance enhancer that is very different than being dependent on it to keep you at a reasonable baseline.

These days, I don't feel any of the benefits of taking adderall. I am as depressed as ever. The only difference is I now have this monkey on my back that demands its dose of adderall everyday or my world comes crashing down.
Then FOR YOU, you need to stop taking it, and maybe it does mean you are addicted and you need to stop it. But that is not how it works for everyone.
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