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Old 01-12-2019, 03:41 AM  
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Default Re: Adderall and treatment resistant Depression

I would be cautious about adderall. I have been taking it for 13 years. I am completely addicted. I am utterly useless if I don't take it - I can't stay awake. My body no longer produces its natural stimulants to wake me up and keep me awake. The last time I had to go without adderall for more than a couple days was prior to a sleep study. They wanted me to stop taking it 2 weeks prior, but that was impossible, as I knew I would be nonfunctional and would have to take off work for the duration. We compromised on one week. I broke after 4 days because the withdrawal was so severe that I wanted to kill myself. I took part of my usual dosage, then continued to abstain for the rest of the time period.

Does adderall help with depression? Yes. But that doesn't mean it's a good treatment. For some people, eating a whole chocolate cake helps their depression. But you wouldn't say that's a good thing. The problem I had with adderall was how much better it made me feel. It made life so much more bearable. Getting up in the morning didn't feel like a burden. Completing tasks felt enjoyable and satisfying. If I'm honest, I don't think it was quite a natural feeling. And that's the difference between the results from other depression treatments and adderall. Your mood on adderall does not reflect restored balance. You do not act how you would if you weren't depressed. You act uniquely as you would when taking adderall. And it's very hard to resist taking it every day.

These days, I don't feel any of the benefits of taking adderall. I am as depressed as ever. The only difference is I now have this monkey on my back that demands its dose of adderall everyday or my world comes crashing down.

I wish I had never started taking adderall.

On my experience with Remeron - it really helped. The first couple of days, it was really sedating, but my body adjusted. Very good sleep. Unfortunately, it caused my appetite to balloon out of control, and I gained a lot of weight to the point that it was intolerable.
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