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Old 12-27-2018, 05:46 AM
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Nowinners Nowinners is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2017
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Default Re: What Would You Do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by saidso View Post
reaching for help, manipulation, putting themselves at risk. It's a huge challenge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
turned down many opportunities to help herself and I suspect it was easier to blame her circumstances on me versus make a change... hence the controlling. [emoji3590]
Thanks for your response. All these things are happening. The worst thing about it all is that he has told me so many lies that it is impossible to help because he a has had me helping with "pretend" things in order to get my attention. Then while I am helping him--he says torturous things then seems to enjoy when he makes me upset.

I did get him a room on Christmas day and we all ate at a Christmas Buffet together as a family. Everyone got along. I took him to see other family members earlier that day.

The next day when I checked him out of the hotel--the manipulational, lies and controlling behaviors started all over again. He had money in his pocket (gifts from family) and it was then apparent I was not going to give him anything more that day so he started saying things meant to upset me. He only calls when he wants something. Unfortunately, I usually buy him meals (order and try to eat with him once a week) and sometimes give him money. The lie he told me yesterday (don't want to give specific details), once again made it obvious that I have to stop doing this. My husband has been telling me for a long time that the help I give him is just hurting him. I get sympathetic to his needs over and over but am finally realizing that my husband is not wrong about this.
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