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Old 12-17-2018, 02:36 AM  
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MaroonAbalone : "I'm trying my best when it comes to internal struggles." 2/19/19
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 35
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Default Re: Was I Insecure Here?

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
To be honest, something needs to be clarified here, in the end you say this was a "first relationship" but nothing in what you'd said so far indicates there was anything serious going on meaning reason for this guy to feel he was exclusive with you. Unless that part has been left out. If there was some agreement and you were going out with him not just friends, then yes there can be a problem with the other person giving as much attention to others of the opposite sex. Otherwise I see no reason for him to think there was anything wrong with it.

We can talk about whether you were just insecure or not til the cows come home but first, I think you already know this. Second is that you had your reasons for that insecurity. Especially if you were quite fond of this person and assuming you didn't voice this to him and it wasn't known to him, that would feed your insecurity too. there are a lot of things going on here that were fundamental reasons for being insecure and I don't think you should beat yourself up about it at all.

The problem with the girl friend that looked at you as if confused was it seems to me she wasn't really trying to understand your view or empathize at all. she didn't try to respect or see your perspective but just wrote off your feelings as if they were invalid. I am sure that did nothing to help with your insecurities in the first place.
I did leave a lot of details out, yes, because it's a really long story to tell and I didn't want to burden any PC member who stumbled upon my thread with a novel, haha. It's also because it's a personal memory of mine and I just wanted to address what I felt was appropriate to address here on PC.

Yes, he and I did become official after some time (and along the way, we got to learn more about each other), but even after that point of developing a serious relationship, my friend didn't cease in message him and vice versa. Thank you , it took me a while to convince myself that not all of this was my fault. Some things just don't work out in one's favor (kind of referring to the breakup, but like I've mentioned, it wasn't related to my friend at all)

I learned next time, I'm going to be little more formal in introducing my boyfriend to my friends, and if my gut tells me something is up, I'm not going to deal with my concern gingerly.
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