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Old 12-13-2018, 09:22 AM
Lrad123 Lrad123 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 821

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Default Re: In Session Today: Part V

Had a sort of stress-free session for a change yesterday, but then I went and sent him the following email this morning:

ďThis feels Fíd up now, but Iím not feeling great about yesterday and Iím not sure why. It seemed like you were less interested and looking at the clock more. Do you like it better when Iím struggling more to be there? Because I felt unusually good and not stressed out before we met yesterday, and then increasingly stressed out afterwards. This seems messed up. Iím pretty sure thatís not how therapy is supposed to work. Iím feeling frustrated about this and I donít understand why you canít just send me an email response helping me figure this out. It feels like weíre playing a game. It feels like weíre playing your game where you know the rules and I donít. Iím pretty sure this doesnít have to go this way. I hate that this keeps happening. Apparently Iím a masochist because I keep coming back, foolishly hoping to make it better. I feel bad about myself in relationship to you and I feel even worse because I assume the opposite is supposed to happen. I assume you donít really like me and Iím not sure how much of that is part of a game weíre playing and how much is real. I show up and pay on time, so I guess thatís my value. So, whatever. F**k you, I guess.Ē

Nice, polite, rule-following me is swearing at my T via email after a perfectly fine session. Ugh. Itís taken on a life of its own.
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