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Old 10-19-2018, 02:30 AM  
Ididitmyway
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Default Re: Why am I thinking in such detail and so often about my former therapist?

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Originally Posted by SarahSweden View Post
I had an abrupt ending to my therapy about a month ago and it had to do with a session limit within the organization where my therapist works. That limit made her end therapy abruptly and I wasnīt prepared for it.



Although my T was part in us needing to end therapy within just one session and I think she acted wrong I keep missing and grieving her tremendously.


But itīs not only that, I keep replaying things she said, how she looked, how her office looked on and on in my mind. I also think about private things like how her sex life is, how she might be affected by her menopause and so on. Itīs not that I would want to have a sexual relationship with her but I keep thinking about those things, not in an arousing way but I think more out of curiousness.



I ask myself things like how she lives with her husband, what they do together, if sheīs happy at work or not. Hundreds and hundreds of questions which I of course wonīt get an answer to.


I know about romantic transference but still - why am I thinking so much and in so much detail about my therapist? Is it because it gives me some kind of feeling of keeping her close even if thatīs just in my mind?
I think, thinking about her in such detail keeps you emotionally connected to her, which is especially important to you now when you can't see her. This is perfectly natural.

I am also guessing that you don't have much of a social life and/or close relationships with people right now. Loneliness just makes the desire to stay connected to your former T more intense, especially because she was, probably, the only one you could discuss your private life with. So, it's perfectly understandable why you are preoccupied with all these thoughts.
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