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Old 09-28-2018, 05:43 AM  
BoBoPeeps has no updates.
Member Since: Sep 2018
Location: PA
Posts: 30
Default Re: The trouble of comparing scores

Originally Posted by rise13eyond View Post
I'm horrible at comparing myself to others. Having to constantly tell myself it's not a contest. And it doesn't completely succeed. The specific score I got isn't that important here, just that it's not nearly as high as some others. I'm not really going to get into how I compare my skills and accomplishments here and now. I know I've said to other people multiple times that in a hospital, you don't treat minor wounds before the most serious ones. You don't even treat things like little paper cuts. Break a leg and you get special care. Get a paper cut and you put a band-aid on it and get over it.
My problem is just that, when other people seem to have more problems, or bigger problems (kinda of indicated by a higher sanity score I guess) that
means that I should just keep a stiff upper lip and bear through things completely on my own and remember I mean nothing. I feel like a paper cut trying to get into the ER next to someone with a concussion.
Yes! I can totally relate to that!!! When I went to the office of vocational rehab for help in sustaining a job due to my PTSD, I felt like the woman was very skeptical of me - like I was "not disabled enough" for her to help me. Why? Because I'm highly skilled, articulate, and I carry myself well. However, the PTSD is real! It causes me extreme distress and interferes with my ability to do a job with ease. It feels like I have to work a LOT harder to accomplish certain things, compared with other people without my condition. And I crumble under certain interpersonal situations that others can easily shrug off. A miscommunication can be an annoyance to someone else. However, for me, a simple miscommunication can easily trigger me into a flashback where it feels like my personal safety is being compromised. Still, I have learned to take responsibility for my flashbacks and have had to have still perform my job while in this state. No one would expect someone to do excellent work while the building is on fire. Yet, on an emotional level, this is what I do on a regular basis.

So yeah, it can sometimes feel like we are at a disadvantage or being penalized for our hard work or coming so far in our healing journey. It's hard.

I ended up paying a LOT of money to hire a professional workplace coach. She typically works with people in a professional setting who work at a higher level in the business than I do. It seems that the help I need is very niche.
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