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Old 08-20-2018, 04:24 PM  
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: Kiwi Land
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Default Re: Is this Borderline Personaitly Disorder? Having too.

Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Iíve also shown traits, which I only became aware of in my late 30ís and then learned about BPD. Part of Borderline is described as having obsessive crushes.

Have you always had them?

I did have crushes, but I thought they were normal, and that I was just a boy-crazy girl. I never acted upon those crushes in any embarrassing way. I felt they were attractions that were unrequited. I accepted it, but I still secretly pined for them and hoped they would have a change of heart.

My best friends knew I had these crushes and they didnít tell me this was weird. They had crushes on boys they liked, too.

Are you happy in your relationship? Could these crushes have emerged because you are not happy?

Thatís what I thought when my obsessive thinking about one of these crushes resurfaced after I was married for several years. I felt bad about the disloyal obsessive fantasy, confided it in my husband, and sought counseling. But the counseling was really more for the reason of being unhappy with my husband than for the crush fantasy. Our marital problem became an intimacy issue related to sex. It was very traumatic for me.

I donít know whatís at the root of all this. Is it borderline traits? Iím still confused tbh.

Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it. 😊

Have I always had them? If I look back in my teenager years I always had one or two crushes at school. In hope they like me back. But ai never obsessed over it.
I only notice this intense obsession after I had this love transference towards my ex therapist last year. From then on I notice the same intense thinking, fanstay , day dreaming. So I kinda wondered what did love transference do to me?

Iím sorry to hear that the experience was traumatic for you.
But brave of you that you went ahead to get help and with your husband as well.
I would say when you mention it was related to sex intimacy issues. I would say yes with my partner I been with for 9 years the sex is not existence. What frustrating is well I address this to my therapist with my partner there and she suggested to read this book about intimacy. Well it doesnít seem my partner is interested at all to improve it.
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