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Old 08-17-2018, 09:34 PM
emeraldheart emeraldheart is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2017
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Default Re: In Session Today: Part V

I don’t cry too often in session, but when I do....I get completely dehydrated!

———————-

Me: *sits down and immediately talks about the weather for 3 solid minutes*

T: Wow, Em, you must think very little of me if the weather is your best attempt at distracting me.

Me: I seem to remember that you are some sort of weather nut. Weren’t you in something called the Cumulus Club or something?

T: *smiles at my joke attempt* Em, come on, talk to me. What’s going on?

Me: *silent, and looking at the carpet very intently*

T: We both know that there’s something we need to talk about. We’ve been dancing around it for a while now. Should we see if we can try a different approach?

Me: *nods*

T: *smiles* Alright. You and me, we get along well, yeah? Is that an accurate statement?

Me: 100% yes

T: I’m curious what it is you are afraid of as we start getting into the details of *insert trauma here*

Me: I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle it. I can manage well now. What happens once we open this up?

T: Are you worried that you will become too much? That you will drive me away?

Me: You know, I would totally understand if it does. I wouldn’t blame you. And I wouldn’t be bitter about it or resent you.

T: So you’re offering me the chance, the permission to escape?

Me: Yes. Feel free to use the “eject seat” button. I’ve had my finger hovering on it for a while.

T: Would you like to hear my theory and then you can tell me if I am right or I am way off?

Me: Sure

T: I believe you when you say that you won’t resent me, even in secret, if I abandon you. Because you are comfortable in that experience. You’ve been left alone before and you’ve been able to deal with it. You know what to do in case that happens. What you are actually frightened of is someone staying and someone keeping the focus on you. Because that would mean you will finally have to deal with this trauma. That you will finally need to say it out loud, talk about it, work through it. Me staying means you don’t have a good reason anymore for avoiding dealing with this. I completely understand how that can be scary. .

Me and T silent for what seems like eternity.

T: Em, you always have a choice about when you want to talk about this. I will always ask questions, I will always try to lead us to this place, I will always make sure you know that I am not about to shrink back from this. And once you are ready to talk, I will listen.

Me: *bursts out into tears suddenly*

T lets me cry a while

T: Thats been inside you for so long. And even though you haven’t put anything into words, you’ve already started telling me about the trauma.

Last edited by emeraldheart; 08-17-2018 at 09:53 PM.
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