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Old 03-28-2018, 06:56 PM   #359
cln1812
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Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: La Porte, TX
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Default Re: Daily Check In Thread for those with an eating disorder of any kind.

I didn't realize there was a check in thread here until now.

I'm 40, married with a 10 year old daughter in 4th grade and live in Texas (Houston area). I am a stay-at-home mom.

Briefly, I had bad anorexia with severe overexercising while in college, recovered around 2002, 2003 but was diagnosed with depression. Went 10 years on the depression meds and my diagnosis was changed to bipolar when I showed up manic at a pdoc appt. and only just barely escaped hospitalization. Had a brief relapse in 2012.


I had a perforated ulcer on Valentine's Day 2018. You can look at my other posts should you desire to hear the horror of that operation. It is getting harder and harder to eat. Yesterday, when I told this to the gastroenterologist, he said, "Well, it's to be expected. Part of your surgery was like getting a gastric sleeve."

OMG, ironic for someone with a past of EDs to get unintentional weight loss surgery! I was shocked, but he said it was either a drastic surgery or death. Gastro doc said I need to gain weight but didn't explain to me how I'm supposed to do this after a surgery that was practically weight loss surgery! Before I had this surgery, I weighed a low-normal weight for my height, healthy as far as I knew. I definitely did NOT need to lose weight though I did want to tone up my abs. Also, ironic...I doubt I will ever be showing off my abs again, I have a 6 inch scar (still healing) from my belly button up.

This evening, it's been very hard to eat. I'm not sure if it's from the surgery, starting to get sick, or the new meds the pdoc put me on for anxiety and depression.

The bad thing is the old ED thoughts get happy at seeing the lower numbers on the scale when logically, I know it is hurting my body. I somehow always thought the ED would magically go away with recovery and age, but it is always there lurking and ready to jump at any chance it gets.

I've had better days.
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