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Old 03-20-2018, 06:52 AM  
continuosly blue
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Member Since: Oct 2011
Location: USA
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Default Re: Divorcing a narcissist

I went through the hell of divorcing a narcissist. One day after 30 years of marriage she wonít let me touch her and wouldnít tell me why. Didnít want anything to do with me , and wouldnít tell me why. It was my fault though because all the red flags were there but I didnít have the cognitive ability to pick up on the clues. I was incompacitated physically and mentally. That , she took advantage of to the fullest. She didnít love or want me anymore but didnít want to divorce me because of financial reasons. So I filed because of being psychologically tortured by her passive aggressiveness. Just couldnít live like that anymore. Neither of us could afford to leave so we went into separate bedrooms. No kids around anymore, thank God. She still had to go to work but I was unable to , being physically and mentally disabled. The resentment was tremendous ! She turned my children against me. She turned anyone who would listen against me. I suffered tremendously as I had no one to turn to. I was totally abandoned.
So finally I was able to move out. I basically gave her everything as I just wanted out. I could have made her life miserable but I had a problem, I had a heart, which is a weakness when it comes to a divorce. She wanted to bury me.
I just wanted out. I went through a lot of pain but I eventually found a way to go on. I learned how to live in the moment and not the past. I was getting better.
My advice is to cut off all communication totally if possible. A divorce should be like a death. Itís over. At least thatís how I see it. What you need is friends, or family or anything that will give you some positive vibes and a reason to move on. A narcissist will try and destroy you. Iím sorry for rambling on but I want to share my horrible experience with divorcing a narcissist. And in short , the only way is to mentally think that they donít exist anymore so you can move on to a life that you deserve, even if itís by yourself.
Wishing you the best.
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