Forums at Psych Central - View Single Post - Phobias linked to NPD?
View Single Post
Old 03-03-2018, 09:42 PM
here today here today is offline
Magnate
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 2,922
here today here today is offline
Magnate
here today has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: SE USA
Posts: 2,922

5 yr Member
1,027 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Phobias linked to NPD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by NothingPeopleDo View Post
I believe when others talk about NPD it becomes such a diluted discussion that it is very hard for people to truly understand. So many have been hurt by ones like me that the descriptions become attacking and misleading other than factional. It's easy to see, just look up NPD and you get all the NPD scholars with their points that are from a place of hurt rather than facts.
A great quote I have used many times here:

NPD is one of the few conditions where the patient is left alone and everyone else is treated. Very true!!!
How do people -- anybody -- get beyond hurt. People may have retaliatory and avoidance feelings toward people who have hurt us, for good reason. BUT THEN WHAT.

Looking at facts -- then we have a chance to do something differently, to change things. That's what science does. Why not psychology? Possibly because the study of personality disorders isn't done by science-oriented psychologists but by the clinical psychologists, whose focus is "therapy". It's a real messed up system, I think, but not one I see any way to help change any time in the near future.

I'm willing to looked at my messed up ways of doing things and try to learn to do some things better. But I've given up on "therapy" after more years of believing that it would "help" than I'd like to admit. I'm currently trying the support group "Adult Children of Alcoholic and Dysfunctional Families". I would prefer something that provided more non-judgmental feedback about how I come across to people, but lots of folks are leery of that. What I would like is to look at the facts -- sorry about the hurt, yeah sure (and I for one really mean that, I have a horrible problem with shame and guilt), but THEN WHAT. Shame, guilt, and regret don't change the past, and if you don't have any understanding and acceptance of why you do things that hurt other people, then it's going to be very hard to change or "make amends" no matter how much you may want to.

That's my experience, anyway. But, like I said, I don't have NPD. Just a Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.
here today is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote