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Old 12-05-2017, 01:52 PM  
pinkdiva42
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pinkdiva42 HAPPY AND PARTICIPATING IN MY RECOVERY:)
 
Member Since: Nov 2017
Location: Michigan
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Default Re: I'm always avoiding

Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
Hi Glitterwolf,

I am sorry that you are experiencing a life of avoidance. It is very difficult. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder as well and I am so sorry you have to live like this.

When you ARE out and about, do you feel a pressing need to return to your home, or are you able to fight that urge and stay out a little bit longer? I assume you have tried to break this lifestyle in the past? If so, how did it go? Were you able to make headway? Did you get hurt when you tried? What do you do when you are at home? Do you ever feel conflicting emotions, some positive and some negative? Like a part of you that wants to get out of your home and explore the world, and another part of you that says to stay and be safe?

I wish I had answers as to how to break out of this pattern of behavior, but I am stuck in it as well. I have been forcing myself out to social events, trying to be gentle with myself through the whole process of change, but it is SO very difficult. Sometimes I end up in tears after a day of being out and about. I find that I can get out of my apartment and live life for a few good months at most and then I retreat back to living in isolation and avoiding everything and everyone.. Then I get sick of isolating and so I force myself out and then I repeat the cycle...

Do you relate to that?

I hope you are having a good day. And Fuzzy Bear is right, this part of the forums is quiet, which is too bad because this disorder is debilitating.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Thank you for this. I cannot even imagine a few months of getting out and socializing. In all of my 42 years i cant even keep doctors appoinments or therapy appointments for fear of socializing and not knowing what to say and just being so uncomfortable even in a store going up to the cashier. I have actually left my cart in the aisle and walked out instead of having a conversation with people in the line or the cashier.
I dont know how to get out of this but i want to find a way and i am looking for suggestions as to what i can do. I cant be getting older and older and not helping myself. Ineed support and suggestions from this group as to how i can break out of this shell i am in and some baby steps i can take to move forward.
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