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Old 08-12-2017, 05:30 PM   #3
Anonymous50909
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Default Re: How do I deal with my feelings?

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Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend View Post
I avoid dealing with my emotions because I am simply too busy for them. Between work, school, and all of my other responsibilities, I don't want to do even more work by trying to figure out how to deal with my emotions too.

I am a logical person. I am great with computers, math, science, and things like that. I am strong at strategy games and other "geeky" stuff. I could tell you how a computer is made and what every little component does, I can decipher binary code into ASCII characters, I can go into detailed explanation of how any major Sci-Fi, fantasy, or anime universe that interests me and recall parts of the story or facts about them that most people wouldn't think about. Get me involved with people or ask me to try to understand my feelings on the other hand, and I struggle.

I've been focusing solely on getting my financial life in order and working toward my goals in life. Things are going good in my professional and business life, but I still struggle to connect with people. I want to get better at making friends and I want to one day experience love.

I want to be able to deal with my feelings, and I want to be a better person, but it's too hard. I crave connections with other people and it hurts when I see all of these happy couples while I'm chronically unhappy and crave connections with people. I want to become better at understanding myself and other people so that I can become a more likeable person. I want people to accept me. I want to be loved. I don't know how to ask for it or connect with people. Humans are too confusing.

So yeah, I have been a rather crappy person on PC during the last few days because it's clear that nobody will ever care about me so I am taking the path of least resistance. It feels better when I can prove to others how much more intelligent I am than other people or how my cold logic is superior to making decisions based off one's feelings. I can't sate this emptiness inside of me and I can't let people close to me and I certainly wouldn't know the first thing about dealing with my feelings when I have so much energy invested in my daily life that the only thing that I want to do when I am at home is play my game or watch my shows or write code or whatever else because dealing with my emotions is too confusing and hard for me.

If there is an easier way to go about changing, I am open to suggestions. It is clear though that I am not wired to be a people person at all. I should just stick to what I'm good at and leave the socializing for the normies and the extroverts.
Hi DarknessIsMyFriend,

A few things crossed my mind in order to help you while I read what you wrote. Keep in mind that I'm not an expert on interpersonal relations. I myself have social anxiety and trauma from being treated like crap by other people. But I do try to get out and do stuff like through meetup sometimes, and I volunteer. So I myself struggle with some stuff. and I could probably follow my own advice I'm gonna give you too.

So here are the things.

-don't have high expectations of social situations where you could potentially make friends, but be open to talking to people and helping others if needed. I think that having high expectations, can set you up for disappointment.

-keep a journal. You could write in it like, 5 minutes a day. Or like, once a week even. Write about a situation you experienced and your feelings about it. Recognize that feelings are ok, no matter what they are.

-hone your intuition and learn to trust your gut about situations and people. You seem good at this, to me, actually.

-google is my friend, and possibly yours too. Google "how to make friends," "how to get to know yourself better," or some variation of what you are wondering how to do. "How to understand (your own) emotions."

-realize that personal change can take time, so be patient, and be persistent. If something doesn't work, try something else.

-be kind to yourself. this is hard ****. take breaks.

-consider therapy if thats something that might interest you. The right therapist can be really helpful.

Question. You said that you are very actively involved in your life and very busy. Are you around people a lot too? Another thought that crossed my mind, is that it IS hard. Like, if you're around people for instance, and you're in the groove of NOT talking to them or interacting with them much if at all, it can be really hard to break out of that routine, and its hard to get people to see you differently (as someone who wants to change how they interact, or just someone who wants to get to know these people better). But I will optimistically say I think it can be done. It will be your unique challenge.
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