Thread: Help me someone
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Old 03-03-2017, 11:09 PM  
Fractured Infant
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Member Since: Feb 2017
Location: Toronto
Posts: 22
2 yr Member
Default Re: Help me someone

I agree 100% with AD. You can't get rid of the memories but changing your perspective can help.

Since I have found out about NPD and how it develops and the symptoms etc. It has helped me greatly. When I start to rage, I can step back and see myself, I can recognize that my giant ego is doing what it does best, protecting me with anger, it attacks. Underneath it is pain. I don't think I was ever hugged or reassured as a kid. I think I buried the pain because there wasn't a way to deal with it. Now I know my ego is too big and over active. Instead of reacting in anger I know it's okay and safe to react with sadness and hurt. I hope this makes some sense. One thing that helped me a lot was talking to my sister, we went through the same ****. I found it easy to feel really sad at her story and cry for her, then I realized I was crying for me too.

It's not easy but I think you have to feel the pain. Dip in a foot feel it, then drop your whole self in, understand it, acknowledge it accept it. You were mistreated. Something was taken or withheld from you. You have to grieve for it before you can move on. Even though it happened so many years ago I think you have to grieve for it, feel it's effect on your body, your spirit, your soul. Then I think you may be able to let go. Not forget but let go and move on. Release.

I think the challenge is getting in touch with those feelings and more importantly having a lifeline, safety net, time and people around you to support you through it. I think something buried for so long can take a long time to work through.

I am not a professional so I am merely speaking from my experiences and my heart and mind. I think we push the pain really far down but the cost is disconnecting from our emotions, and all the negatives that allows, you know you live with it everyday. Doing that means we never react with fear or hurt or vulnerability which should be quite normal and productive. Instead we always react with anger which only further injures and isolates us.

I hope some of this makes sense.
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