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Unread 03-10-2008, 11:21 AM   #1
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Default molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

Hi, I'm new here so forgive me if I don't post right. About 1 1/2 yrs ago my husband started to do things sexually we haven't done in yrs. We've been married 31 yrs. The first was open-mouthed kissing with tongues involved and it went on from there. I've had my suspicions about an affair. His work would allow him to trick me about the time he is there or not. But what really scares me and makes me angry too is that he has started touching me inappropriately when he thinks I'm sleeping. I push his hand or hands away and ask him about it the nest AM most times and he either denies it or says he was just rubbing my butt. But his hands are under my underwear not on top. Or under my shirt. Why is he doing this? I don't deny him sex. Anyone out there with any help to my delimma? It makes me not want to have sex with him. My Dad sexually molested me for 2 yrs before I told on him and this sort of reminds me of that. Thanks for any help.
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Unread 03-10-2008, 11:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

How can a husband touch his wife inappropriately is my question. Have you considered that he simply enjoys your body and wants to touch it? Maybe you need to react possitively to his touching.

It would be "molestation" or "rape" if you woke up all the way and told him "No!" Otherwise, he's perfectly in the right.

I wish my husband would touch me "inappropriately" in my sleep!
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Unread 03-10-2008, 11:48 AM   #3
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

hmmm maybe he is sleeping as well. I know I have had that happen to me too. Or maybe he is wanting more sex than he use to? I know my hubby likes it sometimes if I rub him while he is sleeping to kind of get things going. maybe your hubby is hoping for something like that with you. like when we are younger.
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Unread 03-10-2008, 01:54 PM   #4
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

Its easy to be flippant and say enjoy it while it lasts ! As I certainly do ! But if its not what you want then you have an issue that needs dealing with .....

Try talking to each other while a little tipsy it will loosen both of your tounges and maybe you will get to the truth and find that as you know its because of say he finds you so attractive he just cant keep his hands off you then you may not mind !

Who knows this could be the start of a great new sexual time for you both.

If it really bugs you then maybe sex councling will help you both although I would be far to embarrased to go lol, I have heard they are fantastic.
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Unread 03-10-2008, 02:11 PM   #5
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

for some strange reason I do get the urge to fondle my wife at 2-3-4 in the morning every once in awhile....shes usually snoring away and i just caress and touch her all over....once she woke up and joined in and other times she slept right thru it.....
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Unread 03-10-2008, 02:45 PM   #6
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
yiyii99 said: My Dad sexually molested me for 2 yrs before I told on him and this sort of reminds me of that. Thanks for any help.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I think this is the statement that says it all. I too was sexually abused at night, while "sleeping". I could never tell anyone.

This type of sexual contact makes me feel like I did when I was being abused...dirty, bad, helpless, etc.

I am sorry that I can give you no advice, other than telling your husband how it makes you feel.

Take care.
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Unread 03-10-2008, 02:49 PM   #7
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Brian37 said:
for some strange reason I do get the urge to fondle my wife at 2-3-4 in the morning every once in awhile....shes usually snoring away and i just caress and touch her all over....once she woke up and joined in and other times she slept right thru it.....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">


My husband has stated the exact same thing and from what I have heard from talking with other females this seems to be a male thing for some.

I personally handled this matter with my husband by requesting that while he may stir me in the middle of the night with gentle caresses and kisses - He is NEVER to finish without me.

Touching is Welcomed by both of us in the night.... even if it leads to no where.
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Unread 03-10-2008, 03:21 PM   #8
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

He is NEVER to finish without me

wow...........that made my toes curl when I read that
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Unread 03-10-2008, 03:35 PM   #9
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

Hi SetemberMorn, He does know that I don't want to be sexually touched while he THINKS I'm sleeping. This is a new behavior he is exhibiting. We've been married 31 yrs. Regardless of whether you are a husband or wife if the other person doesn't want to be touched in that way at that time it is inappropriate. Just because we are married doesn't give him the right to rule my body. Cuddling is fine but not sneaking like he does. He knows it wakes me up and I don't want him to do it. Being sexually molested by my Dad as a child doesn't help. After my husband does his sexual stuff to me and I wake up when I go back to sleep my dreams are very bad.
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Unread 03-10-2008, 03:45 PM   #10
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Default Re: molestion by husband wile I\'m sleeping

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
yiyii99 said:
This is a new behavior he is exhibiting.
We've been married 31 yrs.

Regardless of whether you are a husband or wife if the other person doesn't want to be touched in that way at that time it is inappropriate.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I too totally agree with YOU...... as I went thru with my husband of 22 years some time back and it took many months for him to finally stop until I was comfortable with it....... some of the time I have to say that my husband did it in his sleep for he did not remember doing it in the morning and at other times I felt he was just needing some spice in life after twenty some years with the same woman / routine.

But never the less..... No is NO!!
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