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Unread 02-09-2012, 10:23 AM   #1
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Default Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Let me start out by saying: I am a 22 year old woman and I have never had an orgasm, even with masturbation. I am bisexual but generally prefer sex with women.

So I tend not to enjoy sex all that much. I mean, I find it enjoyable but only in the very beginning and I usually want it to end before it does. When I have sex once, I am usually turned off to the idea for a really long time. I have gone for months - over a year sometimes - in between sexual encounters and I am fine. I never think about it. Also, I usually want to sleep right after sex.

So a few days ago, my sex drive just exploded out of nowhere - and pretty much exclusively for men. I am doing a study abroad, so the new location might have something to do with it, but I have been here for a month now. I have a casual sex partner but he can't keep up with me. I want it every day, more than once a day. When people are talking to me, I am smiling and nodding and thinking "What if you just shoved me up against the wall right now?" Usually I am picky about sex partners, but I feel like I would take just about anyone. I don't think my casual partner wants to have sex tonight, and I am genuinely distressed about it. I am finding it very difficult to concentrate on anything else. Also, I absolutely cannot go to sleep post sex - I have only gotten around three hours of sleep for the past two nights. I still don't orgasm, and I still want it to end before it does usually, but after a few minutes of rest I am ready to go again.

Has anyone else experienced this? And also, wtf?
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Unread 02-10-2012, 04:45 AM   #2
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Hi

I'm not sure what I can say. Is it caused by psychological or physical factors for the spite in your sex drive. It's like it's black and white yoiur sexual life. Do you orgasm with your casual sex partner? You may want to see a medical doctor for an explanation. I'm not sure what else I can say.
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Unread 02-10-2012, 02:19 PM   #3
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

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Originally Posted by Purple Heart View Post
Hi

I'm not sure what I can say. Is it caused by psychological or physical factors for the spite in your sex drive. It's like it's black and white yoiur sexual life. Do you orgasm with your casual sex partner? You may want to see a medical doctor for an explanation. I'm not sure what else I can say.
No, I have never had an orgasm in my life. Not with men, not with women, not with myself. Zippo.
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Unread 02-14-2012, 07:09 AM   #4
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Student, I think that your age probably has something to do with your increase in sex drive. Sorry you have had no orgasms. Sounds to me like you just need the right partner! With your heightened libido, I would be envious of whoever that is. Maybe increased sexual activity, exploration and experimentation will allow that. Good luck!
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Unread 02-16-2012, 01:03 PM   #5
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Quote:
Student, I think that your age probably has something to do with your increase in sex drive. Sorry you have had no orgasms. Sounds to me like you just need the right partner! With your heightened libido, I would be envious of whoever that is. Maybe increased sexual activity, exploration and experimentation will allow that. Good luck!
You'd think that it would be easy for a sexually insatiable inorgasmic (so I'm committed to the mans pleasure only) serious-relationship hating young woman to find a partner or three...but I am studying on a remote island for the next several months. The number of partners I have available is seriously reduced, as is the anonymity aspect.

I can't do relationships for reasons that I won't go into here, but I hate romance - and most guys feel obligated to romance a women a little bit before guiding her back to the bedroom. I wish that I could just skip the mating dance and head to the bedroom immediately.

From what TV tells me about men, they would like this too.

It would be easier if my sex drive could just go back to normal. Are there any ways to reduce it? So I can concentrate on my school work again?

Also sex does not help take my mind off of it. Sex just makes me want to have more sex.

This is making me sound like a sex addict - but it seriously just landed on me! Sometime in the past month, I went from 0-60 in my sex drive and can't think about anything else! I want my brain back!


Edited to add: the most bizarre thing is that while I am having sex...I usually want it to be over. Since I don't orgasm, the amount of pleasure I can get from it is limited. The first couple of minutes are the most exciting and then it is tedious. But then maybe ten minutes after it is over, I want to do it again. This is exhausting.
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Unread 02-16-2012, 06:56 PM   #6
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Well, I hope you can find a partner with a corresponding level of sex drive. I know from experience that incompatibility is frustrating. Right now, you need a locomotive in the sack. Good luck.
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Unread 06-27-2012, 05:22 PM   #7
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

>So a few days ago, my sex drive just exploded out of nowhere - and pretty >much exclusively for men.



Hi,

I'm female. Yes, this happened to me. I had a reasonably strong sex drive as a teen, but it wasn't *polarized* if you see what I mean. I preferred guys, but just barely. It was just less complicated to prefer them. I was looking for a male twin that I could have sex with - so my bf weren't particularly uber manly men. Indie, Alt, Hipster types, usually.

Then when I was about 23-32 BAM. Totally went full on polarized heterosexual. I started being attracted to guys that were quite a bit more *male* than before. In hindsight I associate it with prime childbearing years, but who knows?. At the very end of the phase went along with baby fever (and I wasn't really the type to have baby fever). I'd be walking down the street and it was like a son-to-be was jerking my ovaries and saying, "That guy. He's got the DNA." And my rational mind would be, "Are you kidding? I'd never be happy with him. Wouldn't last, etc." Son to be part of brain: Who cares what you want? I want that genetic code."

This conflict resolved at age 28 when I found a guy that had the qualities of my earlier type and had a male sex thing going on as well.

My sex drive has been affected by where I lived even within CA. It tends to go up in NoCal and down in Los Angeles (too much image, not enough content). Whatever.

Anyway, my sex drive has been quite fluid and all over the place for periods of time. People with sexual orientations and drives that are stable their whole lives weird me out a bit. How can that be? Usually I can trace it to something if I look. It's not accidental IMO.

So, don't worry about it. Take precautions; don't be stupid, but enjoy it.
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Unread 07-03-2012, 11:48 AM   #8
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

It's normal to have fluctuations in desires, and it sounds to me that your location is partly whats upping the sex drive so dramatically. I personally don't enjoy sex much (don't get an orgasm, plus it's physically painful for me), and have only ad sex with my husband; but my fantasies, past and present, change sometimes for months at a time. Even though I generally hate sex, I tend to want it with those I can't have (I don't act out on this as I'm very committed to my marriage). I rarely have sexual thoughts towards women, but it does happen sometimes, almost always in spontaneous phases, like a couple months at a time (once again, I don't act on it), and then it goes back to my norm. The only times that I would have done just about anything with anyone was when I was in a remote location for an extended period of time, with relatively few options.
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Unread 07-03-2012, 02:05 PM   #9
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondboy44 View Post
Student, I think that your age probably has something to do with your increase in sex drive. Sorry you have had no orgasms. Sounds to me like you just need the right partner! With your heightened libido, I would be envious of whoever that is. Maybe increased sexual activity, exploration and experimentation will allow that. Good luck!
Needs the right partner? Who could be a better partner than herself to have an orgasm?
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Unread 07-03-2012, 02:43 PM   #10
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Default Re: Sudden increase in sex drive in a woman?

Quote:
Originally Posted by student646 View Post
Let me start out by saying: I am a 22 year old woman and I have never had an orgasm, even with masturbation. I am bisexual but generally prefer sex with women.

So I tend not to enjoy sex all that much. I mean, I find it enjoyable but only in the very beginning and I usually want it to end before it does. When I have sex once, I am usually turned off to the idea for a really long time. I have gone for months - over a year sometimes - in between sexual encounters and I am fine. I never think about it. Also, I usually want to sleep right after sex.

So a few days ago, my sex drive just exploded out of nowhere - and pretty much exclusively for men. I am doing a study abroad, so the new location might have something to do with it, but I have been here for a month now. I have a casual sex partner but he can't keep up with me. I want it every day, more than once a day. When people are talking to me, I am smiling and nodding and thinking "What if you just shoved me up against the wall right now?" Usually I am picky about sex partners, but I feel like I would take just about anyone. I don't think my casual partner wants to have sex tonight, and I am genuinely distressed about it. I am finding it very difficult to concentrate on anything else. Also, I absolutely cannot go to sleep post sex - I have only gotten around three hours of sleep for the past two nights. I still don't orgasm, and I still want it to end before it does usually, but after a few minutes of rest I am ready to go again.

Has anyone else experienced this? And also, wtf?
Student,

This is going to sound strange but...

Are you sure you're NOT having an orgasm? What you're describing sounds like the normal rush and peak of excitement, then a refractory period, then a desire for sleep or for additional stimulation.

Sometimes, especially when it's been a good while, I can rush at 1000 mile/hour to an orgasm only to find that it flew by and I missed most of it. Leaving me mostly unsatisfied but needing time to regroup my mind and body for a second go at it. With practice, patience and control, you learn to take your time and let it really build up the peak to the point where when it happens, there's no mistaking it. Maybe being only 22, you've just not quite mastered that?

If I was you, I would talk to a doctor. I'm sure it's embarrassing but the benefit would be well worth the trouble. I know it sounds strange but they can actually monitor your brainwave to determine whether or not you have had an orgasm.

Also, sudden hormonal changes can be caused by some medical problems and it's a good idea to have them ruled out.

Good luck!
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