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Unread 11-26-2011, 12:11 PM   #1
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Question LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

Hi everyone,

As many of you know, I'm an asexual. I have been curious for a while now, why there isn't an "A" added to the LGBT.

Is it because asexuality isn't considered an actual sexuality? Or have we simply been forgotten?

Any thoughts?
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Unread 11-26-2011, 01:08 PM   #2
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

I hear you. Though I'm not asexual myself (quite the opposite, actually, heh), I have a few friends who are, and I agree, it sucks that your orientation isn't recognized. However, I have noticed a few organizations are starting to recognize asexuality as an orientation, and I'm sure the numbers will grow in the future.
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Unread 11-26-2011, 01:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

i want to join, melissa~
gimme an A~

actually, i sometimes say i'm ambigenderous, which just means that i do those things generally assigned to either gender, but that does not include sexuality. it's a very nice place to be.

let's join the ACQPL social group, and start a movement ~! ?
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Unread 11-26-2011, 01:58 PM   #4
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

Good question! I never thought there were enough people who identify as asexual for there to be a group. I wonder what it means for others, and if it has always been that way or if it is a response to something that happened (most likely repetitively, over time). And those are hard questions to answer, even just for myself - kind-of a chicken or the egg question. Would I be asexual if I had not been traumatized? Would I have been traumatized if I hadn't been asexual all along? IDK. And for others who are asexual, do you feel a need to avoid anything related to sexuality? I generally just don't want to deal with it at all. And if that's the norm, that could explain why that orientation doesn't get much recognition - if we usually avoid it ourselves.
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Unread 11-26-2011, 06:35 PM   #5
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

I've noticed that a lot of sites now identify themselves as LGBTQI. I think the QI part stands for Queer (also, it stands for "questioning") and Intersex. To be even more inclusive, I am going to propose to the LGBT social group that the name be amended to LGBTQIA so that it is also inclusive of a sexuals. FYI, the "A" also doubles for "ally."
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Unread 11-26-2011, 07:46 PM   #6
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

The really long acronyms I have see are GLBTQQAAI, in very liberal places
Q:Queer
Q: Questioning
A: Allies,
A: Asexual
I: intersex.
So it is out there, but I think most people just say GLBT as that is what it started out as and so people have stuck with even when they include things that have been accepted longer like Allies and Questioning.
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Unread 11-27-2011, 12:04 AM   #7
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

LGBT are categories of love preference. (Transgendered can also be considered one). Asexuals are not attracted to men or women and therefore have no sexual preference so they do not apply to any of those categories. They don't fit in with Heterosexuality either because that is also a preference. Asexuality is the 'nothing' sexuality. I'm probably wrong but those are just my thoughts. Asexuals are not very expected to be found in places that involve sexuality such as LGBT categories. I also think that Asexuality is a fairly new thing and not many people have heard of it. I didn't know what it was at all until I started freaking out and discovering websites like this.
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Unread 11-27-2011, 10:44 AM   #8
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

(Argh wrote it all once, pressed the wrong button and WHOOSH)

I posted in the other forum’s thread but will post something else here too.

Not all asexuals feel aligned with the LGBT and not all LGBT people are interested in asexuality being a part.

Personally I don’t feel that the LGBT should be forced to allow ‘outside’ people into their group, however I can see why so many would want to be a part of it. LGBT has a monopoly on non-heteronormative etc community and support (although it is not the only group there is… others like Diverse Sexuality and Gender do exist in the UK but are not very well heard of) so an isolated asexual may find the LGBT group is the only one around who may help them. We face issues too. Of course, asexuals can have some link to LGBT in that they can be transgender or non-binary gender and they can have romantic orientations too (for those who don’t know, it is possible for an asexual to cultivate a strong emotional bond (love) with someone else but not experience sexual attraction to them. To put it shortly and crudely, it is the difference between a loving relationship and ‘friends with benefits’).

To clarify what I wrote originally, for the curious:

Asexuals may feel;
~ The LGBT is all about sex so they would be alienated from it all and feel ‘what’s the point in me being here?’
~ If an asexual has a hetero-romantic orientation, they might not feel that they have any need to be involved with the LGBT community since they don’t have the same depth of issues. A hetero-romantic asexual might never need to come out at all (except on a need-to-know basis, obviously).
~ Some asexuals don’t see why we need to be allied with the LGBT and feel asexuality can be a totally separate community.
~ They might have read or experienced negative reactions from members of the LGBT and so don’t consider them allies.

On the other hand;
~ As I say, asexuals who are transgender or who have non-hetero romantic orientations may still want to be involved with the LGBT.
~ Asexuals who are attracted to the same sex can face the same homophobic incidents/issues as homosexuals and still face coming out to their families, etc.
~ Asexuals can want to be involved in an ally capacity.
~ LGBT events can be very good opportunities for visibility and education. Some LGBT people might even be asexual and not know it (for instance, a homoromantic asexual might identify as homosexual but not understand why they are different from other homosexuals). Visibility and education is especially important since some unknowing asexuals may find themselves very depressed by being ‘abnormal’ and may even force themselves into undergoing traumatic experiences to try and become ‘normal’.

LGBT people may feel;
~ Asexuality doesn’t exist. You just need to see your doctor/get laid/were abused/can’t get any *gigglesnort*.
~ Asexuals aren’t sexual people so why should they be involved with the LGBT? What issues can you have from just not having sex? Why cause a fuss?
~ The Oppression Olympics: “When you’ve had people killed for being asexual, THEN you can tell us you have issues.”

There are probably more on both sides, but there you go.

The first Pride London I went to we (that is to say, the AVEN group) got laughed at a few times, I got a collection of jokes and insults and I even got jumped on and groped while someone took a photo. My backside is probably on facebook somewhere. Thankfully last year was much better and we intend to go to World Pride 2012 so we’ll see how that goes.

@ MsBunny… I feel compelled to say that ‘asexuality’ is not a new thing, however ‘the asexual movement’ (mainly the Asexual Visibility and Education Network but other groups too) is recent. AVEN began 10 years ago.

@ Rapunzel… Not all asexuals are ‘repulsed’ (as has come into common use on AVEN). Some asexuals are termed ‘indifferent’ and don’t really care for it either way. Some are sex-positive and can see sex as a beautiful, natural thing and can appreciate what people of other orientations see in it. Some asexuals do have sex for various reasons- for the sake of a partner, for children, for curiosity, experimentation or confirmation of their orientation, peer pressure or even because the plumbing downstairs works and they can enjoy it. After all, asexuality just means a lack of sexual attraction, not a dislike or hatred of sex. Personally I intend on never having sexual contact because I don’t desire to and don’t see the reason why I should. As for other people… I’m not ‘anti-sexual’ but I don’t really need to see it, thanks. Mainly I’m annoyed because I don’t see the relevance. Like when you are watching a good movie and suddenly RANDOM SEX SCENE! and I just feel ‘get back to the plot please…’ and it seems like Hollywood etc feels no one can possibly ever be interested in their products without the obligatory romance.
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Unread 11-27-2011, 11:27 AM   #9
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Default Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I can definitely see why LGBT may not want asexuality in there, simply because many don't consider it a sexuality at all...and some don't believe it exists. Yes, some people are probably asexual due to abuse in the past. For me though, I am just not interested in sexual activity with another person. I DO masturbate, it feels good and is a great stress reliever. I am not "broken" down there by any means. Many people would be shocked to find out that quite a few asexuals do masturbate! And there's nothing wrong with that.

Also, there are two types of asexuals: aromantic and romantic. Aromantics don't desire romantic relationships OR sexual relationships. Romantics may desire a romantic relationship, without the sexual activity.

I don't see any reason why we can't be included. Asexuality may not be as common as other sexualities, but it certainly DOES exist, and I believe for the majority it is not a choice. Exclusion of the not so common sexualities, including asexuality, would defeat one of the main purposes of LGBT - acceptance. At least, that's my thinking on the subject.
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Unread 11-27-2011, 09:57 PM   #10
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Heart Re: LGBT...Where's The "A" For Asexual?

Great question. What though does A sexual mean to you. I just feel no one wants me and have come to a conclusion that I feel I am A sexual. I don't want to be alone..... and I know being alone doesn't make me A sexual.

Would love to have a true definition of it.... Thanks for speaking up. Crew
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