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Unread 06-16-2010, 12:47 AM   #1
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Default Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

I noticed it once before but wasn't sure of it until it happened again last night. My bf and I were in the middle of have sex and I was enjoying it until suddenly I noticed that he lost his erection. I didn't know what to do and went along with what he wanted to do. He kept trying and I can sense his frustration. Finally I had to stop and made up an excuse so we could stop. I'm curious but what would cause something like that to happen and how should I talk to him or if I should even talk to him about this?
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Unread 06-16-2010, 06:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

Tired, pressure of work, thought of something that took his mind off it for a bit ? Could be lots of reasons, these are just some of the reasons hubby gave for you.
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Unread 06-16-2010, 08:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

PLEASE...don't make it an issue. Don't mention it or try to analyze it! It would frustrate him to no end. It isn't a big deal at all. It happens.

I wish you both the best.
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Unread 06-16-2010, 08:10 AM   #4
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

If this is a rare occurence - just act like it's no big deal. Any negative cues or trying to analyze it, will create anxiety for him next time. Make sure there's adequate lubrication.

If this were to become a regular thing - there could be many reasons why this might happen, but the approach for dealing with it, needs to be gentle.
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Unread 06-19-2010, 02:00 PM   #5
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

Loss of an erection during sex can be as simple as -- thinking about that failing grade in Geometry -- and if it is an occassional event nothing to be concerned about. For women it would be loss of lubrication during sex -- again often brought on simply by distraction --. Take a break, change positions, go out and a grab a burger -- Nothing to be concerned about.

As mentioned before, if it happens on a regular basis it may be caused by medication side effects (over the counter, prescription, and street drugs), or another medical condition and your friend should see a doctor
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Unread 06-26-2010, 07:57 AM   #6
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

Yup, one time, no biggie. Let it go. Hubs and I joke about it when it happens every so often - usually due to the medication he is on.

He will pretend to be all angry, spit out some curses and lament about how hes getting old (33, hes NOT old lol) and give it the finger and then we both laugh it off.
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Unread 06-26-2010, 10:31 AM   #7
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenn1fer82 View Post
I noticed it once before but wasn't sure of it until it happened again last night. My bf and I were in the middle of have sex and I was enjoying it until suddenly I noticed that he lost his erection. I didn't know what to do and went along with what he wanted to do. He kept trying and I can sense his frustration. Finally I had to stop and made up an excuse so we could stop. I'm curious but what would cause something like that to happen and how should I talk to him or if I should even talk to him about this?
Dear Jen1fer82:

As long as there are human beings this question will arise. Few men go through an entire life without at least one episode of Erectile Disfunction (ED). And that includes not being able to get it up at all, or losing it before anyone has had an orgasm. This is WILDLY embarassing to the man. SHAMEFUL. Do NOT make a joke of it, try not to pay any attention to it at all. If he knows what he's doing, he will still be able to bring YOU to orgasm without his organ being erect. But this kind of failure on his part is a real long term worry for him, a very serious worry. If it happens more than once or twice, gently encourage him to go to his urologist, or a urologist if he hasn't seen one before. They are the specialists who deal with this issue. And there are many ways to deal with it. The both of you can still have a perfectly satisfactory sex life with the help the urologist can give you.

Take care.
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Unread 07-01-2010, 07:17 PM   #8
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

Hate to admit it but it has happend to me. Sometimes when things just get a tiny bit soft a person (like me) might start to worry it is going to get worse, and that is a sure recepie for it to get worse and worse.

On the plus side if you are understanding and don't put any undo pressure on him, it is less likely to happen, and personally, after I let go of my stress and relax with my wife still next to me, often things will start to work again, some of our best nights have not started off well, but ended GREAT.
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Unread 09-02-2010, 01:17 PM   #9
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Default Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

I know what you are thinking....you think that maybe you did something wrong or he isnt attracted to you or doesnt find you sexy etc. but don't fear. Im sure this has NOTHING to do with you and what everyone else said is right..... it's probably stress, nervousness, thinking about something negative or any other list of possibilities not having to do with his feelings for you. I've been in your shoes before. Dont let this bring you down. Keep doing what you are doing and try not to let this inhibit your sexuality or desire.
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Unread 03-10-2013, 04:42 AM   #10
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Unhappy Re: Why did he lose his erection in the middle of having sex?

ok idk i lost my erection tonight while in the middle of sex. i am so dissapointed in myself to say the least. it has never happened before and it is the worst experience of my life. though im jealous or your situation you were nice enough to let it go and ask why. i wasnt so lucky. i do not know why it happened to me im only 24. but from a mans perspective i have never felt more embarrased shamed and all together weak as i did tonight. the woman im with is beautiful and amazing, yet i could not satisfy her. i had to use a toy. how degrading is that for a man. after i left her place i felt like dying. so my advice is be gental and forget about it. god knows i never want to relive tonight....
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